Life Guide [ A Detour to Love ]

Life Guide [ A Detour to Love ]

Chapter 1
Transition


I'm standing in front of the mirror, surveying my reflection. It seems like days are moving in a faster phase. I'm now in my last highschool year, a senior student.

“how will things work? Will it be great? How about..




















him..? :-\










..Anyway, past is past! Hindi na pwedeng balikan, hindi na pwede ang take two, hindi din pwede ang rewind! I might as well make one step forward to moving on. Wala naman na 'kong magagawa kung gano'n talaga. There's a greater life ahead of me naman eh. Enjoy lang. Yeah!” I lectured myself in the back of my mind.


"bilisan mo na dyan..buti pa si jelaine kumakain na.."

"sandali nalang..matatapos na po ko.". I muttered back while combing my hair.

That's my mama. She always complains about my sluggishness every morning. Eh pano ba naman? inaantok pa ko..syempre kukupad talaga ko. :

By the way, I'm Hilary Anne Gale Delarante. I study at the School of Saint Thomas. I studied there since highschool and for the past two years, nothing special happened in my life, just typical. Last year naman medyo nag-evolve..marami akong nakilalang friends sa batch ko pati na rin sa ibang batch. At ngayon last year ko na 'toh! Ayoko pa nga maging senior eh kasi pagkatapos nito, gagrad na 'ko then iiwan ko na yung school at magkakahiwa-hiwalay na kami.. :'( Oh well, that's life.

Philosophy #1: You have to learn how to move forward like everybody does. You can't stay stranded in the past forever.

That's part of my “Life Guide” na napag-isipan kong gawin ngayong senior na ko, mga rules to live by, my point of views, perhaps my outlook in life which I write in a notebook. Wala lang, trip trip lang naman. Kaya ayun, I really need to move on from the pain that I felt before and accept the reality that I can't stay as a highschool student forever. I should condition myself that soon, I will be progressing to college.

Lumabas na ako ng kwarto para kumain na din. Si Jelaine naman, tapos nang kumain ng breakfast na niluto ng papa namin. My sister is one year younger than me.

When we arrived at our school, there were already umpteen students. Hindi muna ko umakyat sa room..naghintay muna 'ko ng mga friends na magiging classmates ko. Mag-se-7:30 am na nung umakyat ako kaso wala 'kong nakitang ka-close ko na ka-section ko. Sa ibang section sila na-designate. May nakita akong friend sa room..hindi ko nga lang ganun ka-close pero ayos lang. Sa kanya nalang ako tumabi tapos nakipagkwentuhan.

Later on, dumating ang adviser namin, si teacher Lex, a new teacher. As usual, magpapakilala ka sa harapan, dedescribe mo sarili mo, mag-iisip ka ng kung anong pwedeng mag-symbolize sayo..basta mga ka-ek-ekan then i-nayos niya yung seating arrangement.

"hi, name mo?"

I turned my head to the right side to see who's asking.

"mine's hilary..yours?"

"ahh..just call me Mike. Nice to meet you seatmate." he said with a smile.

So siya pala ang naging seatmate ko sa right side, may pagitan nga lang na space kasi may aisle pa eh. Michael Cedric Guerrera..I heard about him when we were in third year highschool, he's shrewd and talented according to the other students. Sa botohan ng class officers, he won as our class president.

I met new friends, new teachers, new subjects, new classroom, new environment! After 1 month..naka-adjust na din ako sa pagiging senior girl..kahit pano?

One day..

"ssh..there's an announcement.." teacher Lex said in front of the class.

pero di muna siya nagstart kasi maingay kami.

"oisSst! quiet muna..may i-aannounce daw" Mike instructed.

"have you heard when will you be going to have your retreat?"

"hindi pa po.." the whole class answered.

"it will be on friday next week. Anyway, there'll be a letter that will be given to you about the details naman. Okay, moving along, let's start our lesson.."


on the circular given:

"Retreat is an activity, which facilitates the spiritual development of the students. It is a means for the students to develop their relationship with the Almighty God and foster relationships with their classmates and teachers. This is also a way for the students to realize their purpose in life and find ways for them to be worthwhile, critical and active members of the community.”


According also sa circular, mag-oovernight stay kami in a retreat house somewhere in Antipolo.


***


After one week, the day has come. I woke up early to fix myself. Pagdating ko sa school, pumunta na 'ko sa covered court at hinanap ang line formation ng section ko. nYe? Ang konti palang namin? Eh actually medyo nalate ako kasi ang bagal ng nasakyan kong jeep tapos ganun lang yung population? Sa ibang sections konti rin mga tao. Pasaway batchmates ko?? Daming late eh!! (parang ako..! 5 min. late lang naman ako eh..eh cla?!) Sabi sa orientation, 6:30 kami aalis subalit dahil sa mga napaka-obedient kong mga ka-batch, 7:00 na kami nakalayas!

Pagkatapos ng biyahe, mga 9 kami nakarating. Pagdating dun hiniwalay ang boys sa girls. Hiwalay ang dorm pati na ang session hall namin. Ki-nonfiscate naman ng mga teachers yung dala naming cellphones para nakafocus lang daw kami sa session.

t. Nikki: girls..listen! we will distribute you to your rooms..ok? the names that i will call, kayo-kayo yung magiging mag-roommates..

Pinapunta muna kami sa kanya-kanya naming rooms para ilagay ang mga gamit namin don. Pagbalik namin, dumating si Brother Brian. Siya ang mag-hahandle samin. The session was about worshiping God, family, love, friendship, trust and so on.

brother: oh, break muna..punta lang kayo dyan sa kabilang room, andyan pagkain niyo tapos balik ulit kayo dito after.

girls: opo brother

Sa kabilang dako? Di ko alam mga kaganapan sa mga boys..basta nagse-session din sila dun..pareho lang naman siguro nung sa'min.

After a few minutes, we went back to the session hall at nagtuloy lang yung mga activities. Puro activities katulad ng pagsayaw, pagkanta, meron ding discussions about sa mga bagay-bagay wherein may matututunan kami about our lives. Not too long gabi na din. There a came a point na nag-lights off kami pagkatapos eh nagpatugtog sila ng sad music. Habang tumutugtog yun, nagsalita si brother tungkol sa parents. Pano daw kung namatay na sila? Nakapag-thank you na daw ba kami? If ever we neglected them, will be ever a chance for us to regret and say sorry? That was made for us to realize crucial things. Siyempre drama galore and yeah, I cried.

Philosophy #2: Always acknowledge your emotions! They serve a purpose and should never be ignored.

Because of the talk that the brother gave us, marami akong natutunan.

After that, it's already time for us to have some sleep. My roommates were Joy, Kryzl, and Erlyn so we all lay down on our beds.

"hindi ako makatulog!" I complained after some time.

"ikaw din?" Erlyn spoke.

"pareho lang tayo.." Kryzl concurred to the both of us.

"hindi din ako makatulog. magkwentuhan nalang muna tayo.." Joy suggested.

"oo nga naman! so.. how is everybody's lovelife? ako kasi, I once had a boyfriend but we didn't take each other seriously so we just broke-up eventually.. Erlyn said.

"ganun ba? hindi ka ba nahirapang mag-adjust after your break-up?" Joy asked.

"I guess not. first year palang naman kasi ako nun. hindi pa ganun kaseryoso so nakarecover naman ako kaagad.." Erlyn explained.

"actually, i don't have time for relationships yet. Saka na yun! hanggang crush lang muna ako pero hindi ko na sila maiisa-isa ah, madami akong crush eh!" Kryzl chuckled.

"pareho tayo! puro crush lang din ako eh. anyway, i have a crush on a guy in the other section kaso i don't know him eh but he's cute.." ;D Joy shared. "hey Hilary, how about you?"

"ako? i haven't undergone any relationship yet.. i'm still single." I paused for a while. "but I already fell in love before.." I murmured.

"then what happened?" Kryzl inquired.

"uhmm.. :-\ by the way, i enjoy being single naman eh!" I tried to say anything just not to answer the question further. I don't want to talk about that.

They just continued chatting about crushes, relationships, and stuffs. I listened to them but I didn't talk too much. I just.. I just don't want to share what happened last year. :-\ After a while, I just decided..






































..to fall asleep.

Chapter 2
Socializing with Someone New


Ginising kami ng mga teachers para pumunta ulit kaming lahat sa session hall. In-announce na this time, pagsasamahin na daw nila kami with the boys kasi magkakaro'n ng misa around 10:00 am. Bago yun, breakfast muna. Pagkatapos kumain, naglakad-lakad kami ng mga room mates ko nang may nakita ako.

"hi girls! namiss niyo ko?" Si Mike!

ako na yung sumagot. "hinde! ba't ikaw? namiss mo kami?"

"hindi rin!"

hah! Gumaganti lang 'toh eh! Palibhasa hindi yung in-eexpect niyang sagot yung sinabi ko. Ang presko naman kasi ng pagkatanong niya eh. Akala niya ah! :

Dinaanan lang namin sila ng mga kaibigan niyang taga-ibang section. Naglakad-lakad muna kami kasi mamaya pagkatapos ng misa, aalis na din kami sa retreat house.

After ng misa, as I've said, lumayas na kami. Pagkarating sa school, bigayan ng letters. Madami akong binigyan! Mga close friends in the other sections pati mga clasmates including na dun yung mga di ko ka-close.. waah..kakapagod din sumulat ah! Bago umuwi, nag-cr muna ko kasama si Joy. Nag-ayos ako ng sarili tapos lumabas na din. Habang naglalakad kami sa corridors..

"Hilary!"

Sino yun? Lumingon ako sa likuran ko. "bakit?" I inquired.

"thank you sa letter ah..grabe! ang dami kong nabasa!" Jake said then he beamed at me.

Ang ironic naman nito! Konti lang kasi sinulat ko dun eh. Yung tipong ingat, God bless, good luck, etc..ganun. Natawa tuloy ako.

"ang yabang naman nito!" I joked. "kung ayaw mo akin na lang ulit"

"hindi, joke lang! na-appreciate ko naman eh..thank you ulit."

"okay, wala yun.." I said then Joy and me continued walking.

"binigyan mo siya?" Joy was wondering.

"yeah, binigyan ko pero hindi talaga kami close. Madami lang talaga kong binigyan ng letter kahit di ko ka-close". I answered her.

"ahh..i see. I thought close friends kayo."

"i don't know him that well.."

"gano'n ba? yang clasmate natin na si Jake Lynden Salvatierra, basketball varsity..kinda popular din. gwapo kasi eh.."

"oh..okay.."

I just nodded while listening to what Joy was sharing about Jake. As I went home, nagpahinga muna ako, may pasok kinabukasan eh. Then nagreflect ako tungkol sa mga bago kong realizations sa retreat. Nagkaroon pala ako ng bagong intimate friends. I mingled with different people which led me to be who i want to be.

Philosophy #3: Know how to treasure precious people. At least one person cares for you, life isn't a waste.

Nadagdagan yung Life Guide ko. Naisip ko lang, dapat ipakita ko sa mga taong importante sakin kung gaano sila kahalaga sa buhay ko. Dapat iparamdam ko yun. Syempre, make new friends din. Naalala ko yung cellphone ko..oo nga pala, naibalik na sa'min after kunin ng mga teachers para itago muna nila nung retreat! yes! Pwede akong mangalap ng cellphone numbers para makatext ko mga classmates ko to let them feel na andito lang ako para sa kanila. Di ko pa kasi nakukuha yung mga numbers nila eh. Meron naman akong ibang contact numbers pero konti lang eh kaya kailangan ko pang magtanong.

Tinext ko si Allysa yung isa kong classmate, humingi ako ng mga business cards. May nareceive naman ako..naka-unli yun eh. Marami-rami rin. Edi sinave ko sa phone book ko. Dumadagsa! Ayan nanaman. Save! Tapos dumating yung number ni Jake! aba! Nakuha pala nitong girl na 'toh yung number nun? Galing ah. Dahil naka-unli naman ako, tinext ko ng mga quotes yung mga trip kong itext. Yung mga hindi nakakakilala ng number ko, nagtanong kung sino ako then nagreply ako at sinabi ko. Tapos nagtext sa'kin si Allysa ng chain letter. Ilagay ko daw name ko sa dulo tapos ipasa ko para hindi ma-break ung chain. Naka-unli naman ako eh kaya pinatulan ko. Iniisip ko kung kanino ko ipapasa. Suddenly, naalala ko si Jake kaya ayun, sa kanya ko nalang pinasa.


Later on, I felt bored so I decided na magcomputer nalang..matagal-tagal din. Tapos sinilip ko ung cell ko. Nag-text si Jake kaso when I checked the time when did he text it, kaninang-kanina pa pala. Ang tagal ko kasing nag-comp eh. Naka-silent pa man din yung cp ko kaya di ko napansin yung message.

































Sender:
jaKe
+63919*******

si hiLary kb talaga?

continuation..


nako! Makapagreply na nga. Baka nainip na yun, gabi na eh tapos hindi ako ka'gad nakapagreply.

Send to:
jaKe
+63919*******

oo, aq 'toh..baket?

Nagreply naman siya agad.

: ang tagal naman mgreply..kanino mo pala nkuha no. ko?

: sowee ah..nagco-comp xe aq eh..kay allysa..

: nais2rbo b kta?

: hindi nmn.. stah naman kayo nung retreat?

: ok nmn..eh kyo?

: ayos din naman. hay, kainis noh? meh pasok ka'gad tom..kakagaling lang natin sa retreat eh..

: honga eh..nkkpagod diba?..

: yah, sinabi mo pa..anyway, i'll go to sleep..see you tom nalang..g'nyt!

: ok..nyt din..ü

Matutulog na nga ko..maaga ulit akong gigising bukas eh. New found friend si Jake!


































well, that's nice.

Chapter 3
Am I Real?


As usual, maaga akong nakarating sa school. Naka-lock pa ang room tuwing dumarating ako. Umuupo ako dun sa three step stairs sa may bandang pinto. Naghihintay lang ako. Ang tagal naman dumating ng mga classmates ko.

After 30 min. nagkaro'n na din ng tao at nabuksan na din yung room. Masmaingay na ang room since mas naging close ang isa't-isa.


Ang problema nga lang eh madaming na-late na mga seniors kasi nga pasaway batch namin. Including mike! Class president pa man din oh..tsk, tsk, tsk. :

Noon every break time, kami lang ni Joy ang magkasamang kumakain, hindi ko nakakasama yung bestfriend ko na si Giselle kasi nasa ibang section siya kaya minsan magkaiba schedule namin. But things are different now, kasama na din namin sina Kryzl at Erlyn. Gumaan ang loob namin sa isa't-isa since nung retreat. Pati na din pala sina Carla at Jhoyce, nakakasama din namin. Naging ka-close ko silang dalawa kasi sabay kaming tatlo lagi kapag umuuwi.

Ang bilis ng araw. Dismissal na pero hindi man lang kami nagpansinan ni Jake, as in yung personal. Kahit nung nakasalubong ko siya nung break time, tiningnan ko siya para kung tumingin din siya sa'kin, ngingitian ko, kaso deadma lang eh. Ano ba naman 'toh?! Wala ba akong presence?! Kagabi lang magkatext kami ah! o baka nakalimutan na niya?! ??? ugh! Parang hindi kami friends ah! hmmpf! > Moving along, hindi ako ka'gad umuwi. Tumambay lang muna ako sa classroom.

Lumabas muna ako para pumunta sa terrace sa harap ng classroom nang maramdaman kong nag-vibrate ang cp ko.

Sender:
jaKe
+63919*******

eLow..ü

Hinanap ko kung nasa'n siya. Konting lingon-lingon lang at nakita ko siya na natatakpan ng isa ko pang guy classmate habang nag-uusap sila sa may pinto.

Send to:
jaKe
+63919*******

nYe..mgkalapit Lng tayo tz ngttxt kp!..ano kea un..

Napansin ko siya na sumilip sa'kin tapos may message akong na-receive.

: chinecheck ko lang kung ikw nga ung ktext ko kgbi..

: gn0n? aq nga 'toh eh!

Hindi rin siya makulit noh! Sinabi ng ako nga yung katext niya parang ayaw pa maniwala ah.

: okay..bat d kp umuuwi?

: wuhLa Lng..tambay Lng..ska ngkkwen2han p cna carLa & joyce sa loob..sila ksbay qng umuuwi..bt ikw?

: ahh..hnhntay q p kc mag-5..may training kmi mmya eh..

: aHh..honga pLa noh? mon. ngeon..meh training pLa sa bb..

: oo nga..

Bigla akong tinawag nina Carol and Jhoyce, uuwi na daw sila.

"oh sige, wait lang.." I told them.

Pumasok na ako sa room para kunin yung bag ko habang nagrereply kay Jake..

: ui, uwi na daw sila eh..ssbay n q..geh..bye

: ok..ingat..ü

Nang paalis na kami, nadaanan namin siya pero deadma talaga? Ano ba? Hindi ba niya ko nakikita? Non-existing ba ko? Parang ang layu-layo namin sa isa't-isa ah! Eh ayoko rin naman na ako yung unang pumansin sa kanya kasi nahihiya ako.

Philosophy #4: No matter how near or far, friends will always be friends. This is how true friendship is tested.

Baka ganun nga. Friend na rin naman siguro ang turing niya sa'kin kahit hindi kami nag-uusap ng personal. Baka nahihiya lang din siya. Isa pa, hindi pa naman kasi kami ganun ka-close para magchikahan all through out the day, right? Words don't have to say it, nararamdaman ko naman yung friendship namin eh..
























..I guess?

Chapter 4
Mysterious Angel


Nakauwi na ako. Nagpahinga at ginawa ko ang mga dapat kong gawin sa sala. Maaga akong natapos sa mga homeworks. Pumunta na ko sa kwarto at nag-sound trip. Inabangan ko lang ang mga latest music. I sighed. Parang ang peaceful yata ng buhay ko ngayon. At least hindi ko na naiisip si..ugh! ano ba yan?! "At least hindi ko na naiisip si" tapos dahil sa naisip ko na "at least hindi ko na naiisip si" na yun bigla ko tuloy ulit naalala! I'm feeling the injury again. The pain when I knew I was in love but..

So I recalled..

I was third year highschool way back then. One morning when I've been from my locker, I was walking along the corridors carrying books and stuff when Anthony Nivenez, a senior student, accidentally bumped me so he offered to help me carry those things to my room. He was my schoolmate. After our collision, we became friends.

Then one afternoon, a senior girl student approached me.

"so..ikaw pala yun" she was glowering at me. "ang cheap naman! walang-wala ka pa sa kaling-kingan ko!"

"huh? sorry..I don't get you.." I was wondering what she was talking about.

"di'ba ikaw yung nakikita kong kasama ni Anthony? I'm telling you or should I say, I'm commanding you..layuan mo siya!"

"wait..who do you think you are to give me such an order?" I countered.

"wag ka nang pumalag! junior ka lang, senior ako!" she raised an eyebrow then remained glowering.

Anthony suddenly emerged out of nowhere and thankfully saved me from having to respond to the taunt.

"total nandito ka na Anthony, mamili ka! siya o ako?!" she confidently asked expecting that she would hear the answer she wanted.

"sino ka naman para piliin ko?! malaki ang respeto ko sa'yo..ng mga ka-batch natin sa'yo. Matalino kang babae pero ano 'tong ginagawa mo?! Senior ka nga pero mas-matured naman si Hilary mag-isip kaysa sa'yo! Nakakahiya ka!!" he countered.

"but anthony!" the girl called out.

Anthony totally ignored her and hauled me along. He brought me to the school's garden. We sat there and talked.

"wag mo na yun pansinin! Pasensiya ka na ah?" he sincerely pleaded.

"ba't ka humihingi ng pasensiya? Hindi mo naman kasalanan kung patay na patay sa'yo yung babae eh.." I jested. He just chortled along with me.

Every time there's a chance that we would be together, he always makes me feel special. He has this personality which has depth, very interesting. So that's why he captivated me. I assumed he also liked me since he's so nice to me but one day, I realized that I shouldn't had assumed.

"ui, game na kasi..sabi mo sasabihin mo na sa'kin kung sino yung girl na gusto mo.."

"oo nga..pero saka nalang..hindi ko pa naman nililigawan eh.."

"kilala ko ba?"

"oo! kilala mo talaga!"

Kilala ko pala eh. Kilala ko daw talaga! Could she be me?

"sino?..alam ba niya na you like her??" ???

"I just don't know 'cause I haven't told her yet.."

"sino ba?" I nudged him.

"okay, ang kulit mo naman eh" then he smiled adorably.

"ayan, hindi mo pala ako matiis eh" ;D I responded jokingly.

"oo nga eh..hindi talaga kita matiis! ikaw kasi eh! ba't ba ang lakas mo sa'kin?..

I just gave him a smile.

"yung girl.. si shiela"

"you mean, yung classmate ko?"

"yeah, sabi sa'yo kilala mo eh..and you're friends, right?"

"we're friends but not that close." I coped up with a smile. "so, kailan mo popormahan?" I asked.

"i don't know eh.."

At that moment, I felt my heart tore apart! :'( Kaya ayoko pag-usapan love life ko eh. Nasaktan kasi ako. Nagmahal ako ng taong may ibang mahal. Ang masaklap pa dun, umasa ako na ako din yung babaeng gusto niya. Well, i was wrong.

Philosophy #5: Don't expect that what you give will always be what you would take in return.

As I snapped back to reality..

Hindi porket mahal ko siya, kaya rin niya akong mahalin. It's not that way. After he graduated, we lost touch and I didn't tell him my feelings for him. That reminiscence always seems to be a deterioration to me. Philosophy #2 says I should never ignore my emotions. What does a girl like me got to do? I can't help it! My tears fell before I already knew it. I just let it. When I realized that I was just wasting my time crying, I tried to stop. All of a sudden, I received a message so I read it. It's from an unknown number which read:

Sender:
+63920*******

cn i b ur angel, please?

Mag-aaplly para maging angel ko? Sino naman 'toh? Nawawala ba utak niya? ???

Send to:
+63920*******

huh?? angel? hu's dis?

Ayaw yata magpakilala ah. Hindi pa nagrereply eh. Then mga 10 min. ang nakalipas, nagreply din naman pala.

: you know hu i am..

: riLy? den hu r u nga?

: i jz thought dt u wud want to have me in your life..i'm hir 4u..so, can i?ü

: sabi mo i know u db? gurl or boy?

: yeah, u know me..i'm ur angel which was sent 4u..ü i'm a guy of cors..ü

: sorry, i don't know hu my angel is..and i don't think i hav one..so quit joking around!

: joking? of cors not! u hav one, i'm ryt hir..ayt? u don't hav 2 know my name, a name is just a name..mLman mo man ang name ko o nde, wLng mbbgo..i wud stil like 2 b ur angel..so cud i ask ur permixon?ü

Ayos 'tong kung sino mang nilalang na 'toh ah!

: if evr i wud agree..wat wud u garanty me?

: u cud trust me..and2 ako lagi pra syo..just text me up if u nid sum1..babantayan kta at poprotektahan..u don't hav 2 do anythng in return..jz let me..ok?ü

Hindi ko alam kung seryoso siya sa mga pinagsasasabi niya but I think agreeing to him won't hurt, right? Wala naman sigurong mawawala.

: fine, ikaw bahala. by d way..do u riLy know me?

: oo nMn..ü

: how come??

: angel mo nga kasi ako db?ü

: sabi ko nga eh.. : if i dnt know ur name, anong ila2gay q s fonebuk ko?

angel mo..ü

: aHh.. wer did u get my # pLa?

Tinadtad ko talaga ng tanong!

: i have my own ways..

That made me curious. I should discover kung sino ba 'tong angel na 'toh..I should find out!

Kaso lang..



































Pa'no nga ba?? ???

Chapter 5
My Move


Ayan na. Malapit na. Sige pa. Konting bilis pa. Konting-konti pa. Ano ba..malapit na, 'wag ka nang maatat Hilary! Pero 'di na ako makapaghintay.. waah.. Oh! malapit na malapit na! Ayan na nga!

"giselle!!" I squeaked.

"ui! hindi pa 'ko nakakatapak sa room namin, hinarang mo na 'ko agad dito ah!" she retorted in surprise.

"ayaw mo nun? ina-abangan kita? miss na kita eh! nung natanaw na nga kitang parating, atat na atat na kong makita ka kaso ang bagal mo naman maglakad!" ;D

"gano'n? naks ah!" she said in an amusing way.

Giselle Luzmoor is my bestfriend. A pretty lass! I always confide all my secrets to her. Minsan kapag break time na namin, sinisilip ko yung section nila pero may nagdidiscuss pa na teacher sa kanila kaya hindi nagtatagpo ang aming sched. At least magkapit-bahay naman ang sections namin kaya lagi kaming nagkikita pero hindi masyadong magkasama hindi tulad nung dati. Nevertheless, like what Philosophy #4 says, this is how true friendship is tested, right?

"new updates?" she asked.

"yeah, i have this..ahmm..mysterious..angel?" I responded ambivalently. Lahat ng details pina-alam ko. Pinakita ko yung number at chineck niya ang phone book niya pero wala. Hindi niya rin kilala.

After nun, oras na para magklase kaya bumalik na kami sa kanya-kanya naming clasrooms. Tinanong ko rin sina Kryzl, Joy, Carla, Jhoyce, and Erlyn. So far, no progression ang pagreresearch ko. Si Allysa na napagkuhanan ko ng mga business cards..aba! Wala sa phone book niya? Ang dami kong pinagtanungan! Promise! Maliban kay Jake syempre. Nahihiya ako eh. Ginalugad ko din lahat ng mga kakilala ko sa school, mapa-anong year level man sila. Ininteroga ko pero sa huli..ako'y bigo.

"haay.." I uttered in exasperation. Sinubsob ko nalang ang mukha ko sa desk.

"Hilary Anne Gale Delarante..what's the prob?" a male voice said.

Inangat ko ang ulo ko at lumingon sa bandang left. Hindi siya yun. May kadaldalang iba eh. Edi sa right side naman. Siya pala. Masmalapit ang distance niya sa'kin habang nakatingin sa mga mata ko.

Whoa! Eye to eye contact? Ayoko pa naman na tinititigan ako ng matagal..naiilang kasi ako. Close up na close up pa yung mukha niya.

"full name pa talaga?" ???

"why? ang ganda kaya ng name mo!" it's Mike.

"talaga lang ah?" :

"yeah, for me it's nice. Hey, okay ka lang ba?"

"oo naman noh!". I flashed a smile afterwards.

"Come on! Ano nga?"

"bakit ba?"

"mukha ka kasing may problema eh..nakasubsob ka pa dyan kanina."

"ahh..yun ba? Wala yun, napagod kasi ako kakaresearch eh..tapos hindi pa succesful". I sighed.

"research?? for what? Wala pa namang bagong project ah?"

I chuckled. "para sa project lang ba ang pagre-research?"

He smiled. "ayy..hindi ba project? para sa'n?"

Because of exasperation, I didn't get what he last said or asked. There was silence.




Then he broke in. "hmm..pahinga ka ah? Alam mo kasi, we should also try to relax and lighten up. Stop trying so hard to do something because forcing things to happen when they are not supposed to will just cause frustation. Kung ano man yung nire-research mo..baka hindi ngayon yung time para matapos mo talaga yun..huwag mong pilitin masyado for now..baka mapabayaan mo sarili mo eh. Just an advice.."

Was that just what i heard? Si mike? Ganu'n siya ka-concern sa'kin? ??? I'm so blessed pala to have a friend like him. And yung advice niya? Hanep! Akala ko puro kalokohan lang alam nitong mokong na 'toh eh. Pano ba naman, kahit class pres. namin siya, pasaway! Madalas na-le-late, tapos kapag in-o-obserbahan ko siya, ang hilig makipagbarahan, mangtrip, mang-asar, ang harot pa.

Pwede ko palang i-dagdag yung advice niya sa Life Guide ko.

Philosophy #6: Try to relax and lighten up. Stop trying so hard to do something because forcing things to happen when they are not supposed to will just cause frustation.

Something just suddenly popped up into my mind. "sa dami-dami ng napagtanungan ko, hindi ko pa pala siya natatanong kung kilala niya yung mysterious number except pa kay Jake! Nakalimutan ko siyang tanungin! Ano ba naman yan!"

But Mike's right. I should not force myself to know who my so-called angel is. In the first place, that person doesn't want me to know his identity after all. Perhaps someday, when the time is right, I would be able to know who he really is so better not coerce this time. Between ask or don't ask, i would go for the don't ask option for now.

"Mike, tnx..I think you're right.." I uttered.

He just beamed at me. Then he looked away since one of my classmates called his attention and talked to him.


***


I found myself at home. Looking outside my window at nothing at all when my cellphone abruptly beeped. "ugh! Nice! My moment of senti was just ruined! how perfect could it be?!" I sarcastically wailed. "sino naman kaya 'toh?"

Sender:
aNgeL q!
+63920*******

hey..ü

ahh..yung dahilan lang pala kung bakit ako napagod kanina.

: yes?

: wala lang..just want to check if ur ok..

ahh..i'm fine..thank u..kw?

: auz lang aq..gwa mo?

"nagse-senti sana kung hindi ka lang nagtext!" I wanted to say. There are times that I enjoy being alone. When I'm all by myself, I feel so liberated. Free from outer influences. But of course, I deviated my reply.

: nkahiga, nagsa-sound3p lang..u?

: wala naman..

: ui, i know u dnt want me 2 know ur identity..pero..can i just ask something?

: ok..

: kung kilala mo ko..may posibilidad ba na skulm8 kTa?

: ac2ly, skulm8s tLga tyo..ü

: if dat's so..anong yr? batchm8?

: hmm..kasi dat's all i can tell for now..

: i see..

: ü

At that point, I didn't reply anymore. I went back to where I am a while ago, by the window.

Tama pala yung iniisip ko, nasa iisang school lang kami pero sa dami ng tinanong ko, wala talagang nakaka-alam kung sino yung may ari ng number na yun.

"Hilary, chill! remember the philosophy #6? get it? got it? good! now go to sleep na!" I nagged myself. I went off to bed already. But I'm still thinking..
































..sino ba talaga siya?? ???

Chapter 6
I Met Exhortation


New day. New mood. New feeling. Everything seems a pleasure to me. How I wish everyday would just be like this.

"oi! ang daldal mo ngayon girl ah!" Erlyn tapped me in the shoulder as she emerged from my back while I was talking to my other classmates. She has a querying grin in her face.

"madaldal kaya talaga ako! Masmalakas lang boses ko ngayon." I responded. I looked at her face again containing a silly smile this time.

"baket?" I chortled and she just shrugged her shoulders. She sat at my desk and looked at me suspiciously from head to toe as if trying to look into my soul, scrutinizing every part of me.

"ano ba? mukha ba akong kriminal?" I joked.

"kaka-iba kasi aura mo ngayon eh!" she claimed.

I smiled at her. "Maganda lang siguro gising ko kaya ganon. Ang sarap nga ng feeling eh."

"good for you" she responded in an elated manner.

Silence suddenly struck the classroom. Teacher Nikki, our English teacher crossed the threshold and went in front of the class to start her lesson. She kept on discussing and inserted something about an activity. It goes like this..she will be going to group us randomly and assign us on a specified date. On that particular day, we will be going to perform a variety show which will serve as our recitation grade. Someone will be assigned in broadcasting, poem or song interpretation, and book and movie review according to the decision of each members. Not too later, she asked us to count off from one to five for us to be grouped. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.. Tapos na ang time for English nang matapos ang pag-group sa'min pero sinabi niya na next week na raw ang start ng pagperform so we better have a meeting with our groupmates to get ready.

My groupmates are Mike (yeah, it's impossible for me to have him as a groupmate since we're seatmates and we had a count-off system but he switched places with someone that time so now it's possible. Pasaway talaga yun, naki-pag-exchange pa ng upuan..buti hindi napansin at napagalitan ng teacher.), Erlyn, and two other guy classmates.

Nung dumating na yung next teacher, bumalik na ulit si Mike sa upuan niya, sa right side ko. Natakot siguro, strikto kasi yung sumunod na teacher eh. :

"Hilary.." Mike murmured.

"oh, baket?" I uttered carefully to make sure our teacher won't hear us while he's discussing in front.

"mamayang dismissal, wag ka munang umuwi, may meeting tayo" he said cautiously, pretending that he was listening to what our teacher was saying. I nodded in response.


***


Some of the groups didn't have a meeting. I don't know, kampante sila eh. Since he's used to leadership, we all agreed na si Mike ang gagawing head sa group namin. Napag-alaman ko din na si Mike pala yung the type of person na kinakarir lahat! Mapa-anong activity man yan, gusto niya maganda. Sa mga year level contests nga, gagawin niya ang lahat para manalo yung section namin. Pati sa battle of the bands last year, i heard na todo practice ginawa niya noon sa pagki-keyboard for his band to win but unfortunately, they lost. Eh eto, may grade na involved pa kaya gusto niya prepared talaga yung grupo namin.

"yung book and movie review kayong dalawa ah?" he pointed to my two guy classmates. The two agreed.

"ako nalang sa broadcasting" Erlyn requested.

"actually, yun naman talaga plano ko eh" he smiled.

Yun naman talaga plano niya? Tapos yung natitirang option nalang, poem or song interpretation, which means.. Poem or song. Choose between the two. I can already sense what he's planning for me..err..rather for the both of us. Since he loves music..

"hala! ayoko! wag mo kong pakantahin!" I sharply refused.

"bakit? Sabi nila musically inclined ka daw..diba? Ikaw kakanta, ako tutugtog." he reassured me. But I don't have the gutts to sing in front of my family which has a population of only three people in our house..eh ano pa kaya yung --42 minus the five of us but add our teacher--people?!

"Mike! wag na yun..mag-poem nalang tayo..sige na.." i pleaded. Actually, I do love singing but perform? No! :-X

"poem? kasi boring yun eh..masmaganda yung song" Mike insisted.

"oo nga, baka mastumaas grade natin kung song interpretation yung gagawin niyo" Erlyn concurs at Mike's idea. Whoa! Wala akong kakampi! Yung dalawa naman naming ka-group pagkatapos ma-assignan lumayas na eh.

"no way!!" I bitterly said.

"yes way!" they both uttered as a comeback.

"but.." I wanted to decline once more.

"no more buts!" Mike demanded.

"pero.." ayan ah? Hindi na yan but okay? pero nalang! : "kasi hindi ko kaya! Madami sila masyado, feeling ko hindi nila ma-a-appreciate yung boses ko! kung gusto mo, si Erlyn nalang pakantahin mo o kaya yung dalawa pa nating ka-group..wag lang talaga ako. Nahihiya akong kumanta!!" I said furiously.

Erlyn and Mike looked at each other. Kinabahan ako! Parang nagkaintindihan sila sa tinginan nilang yun ah! Mukhang may binabalak.

"asa ka pa sa'kin. Sintonado ako kumanta diba? saka wala ka namang interes sa news! Trip mo ang pagkanta, masfitted ka dun..Saka eto pa, 'pag pinakanta natin yung dalawa pa nating members o isa man sa kanila, hindi nila aayusin yun!" Erlyn reasoned out.

Before, Erlyn tried to sing when we were together with Kryzl at the school quadrangle when most of the students already went home. Sad to say, she always sings out of tune. She's right. And yes, I don't have awareness and concentration when it comes to news and current affairs. She's right again. I like singing pretty much. She's right again and again. Our two group members are not fond of doing such things like that so they might end up not doing it seriously which will affect our grade. She's right again and again and again! ugh! >

"Hilary, sige na kasi..Noon nung kumanta si Erlyn nung magkakasama kayo nina Kryzl diba napilit ka naman nilang kumanta?" Mike broke in.

"oo nga kaso wala namang ibang tao nun eh..kaming tatlo lang ni Erlyn and Kryzl yun" I defended. Teka lang, kasasabi ko lang, kaming tatlo lang yun, eh ba't alam niya yung tungkol dun? ???

"nandun din ako, hindi niyo lang napansin pero narinig kita!" he imposed while staring at me.

"narinig mo pala eh..mahilig nga akong kumanta pero pangit yung boses ko!" I really won't give up. I don't want to perform!

Mike pulled his chair closer to me, he was doing this eye to eye contact again.[/color] "naririnig mo ba yung mga sinasabi mo? Hilary! narinig ko yung boses mo and.." then he smiled.

"you have a nice voice!" Erlyn continued. "pati nga kami ni Kryzl nagandahan pero ayaw mong maniwala!"

"please naman! you may be right but don't push it!" :-[ I said.

"Hilary!" Mike insisted again.

I remained quiet looking at the floor.

"Anne!!" This time, his voice became louder.

“Gale?!” And louder again.

Sige, tawagin ba naman ako sa lahat ng pangalan ko? Basta ayoko! Tapos! Period! No more further encouragements! :-X

"hey, think about it..madadamay pati grades namin 'pag hindi mo ginawa" Mike's voice turned in a more serious tone.

Waah! Nangongonsensiya?! Drat! I think I should give in this time.

Philosophy #7: Sometimes you've just got to do what you've got to do.

"Ms. Delarante! ano na?" he asked earnestly.

"Okay, chill! gagawin ko na! nakakainis kayo! Wala na, talo na talaga 'ko.." I bemoaned.

"So, you'll do it nga talaga?" Mike asked with a smirk.

"may magagawa pa ba 'ko?! ginagamit niyo pa yung grade pangonsensiya sa'kin eh!" > I indignantly retorted.

"oh ayan, practice tayo starting tomorrow ah? dadalhin ko yung keyboard ko" He was satisfied and so was Erlyn.

Morbid was the word which kept running on my mind playing chasing with the word mercy but unfortunately, mercy was caught. Natutuwa sila sa magiging pagdurusa ko! Ang ganda pa naman ng gising ko kanina! hmmpf! >

Chapter 7
Will I Sing or I Will Sing?


I went home with this vexed feeling which kept on upsetting me. Me? As in only me? will sing in front of the class? By next week? Why me? What have I done wrong to accept such a punishment? For me performing in front of people is a chastisement! I don't have the gutts! It's like I'm just humiliating myself in front of people. I have the feeling it wont turn out as something which is definitely, absolutely, purely, utterly, totally, and surely fine! Naman eh!

After dinner and doing homeworks, I plunged into my room. I think I made a mistake. Why did I gave up arguing with them? I should have demanded my justice! It's my human right to choose what I want and don't want to do. Hey, oo nga. Ba't hindi ko yun na-i-banat sa kanila kanina?!

"eh ano naman kung sinabi mo yun? hindi ka ba makokonsensiya kung pati grade nila madamay? group work yun, remember? Kailangan niyo magtulungan kaya wag ka nang umangal noh!" I pontificated to myself. I looked like some kind of a certified person talking to no one in particular. Er..maybe I'm talking to someone..myself?

"hoy! para kang sira dyan! sino kausap mo? hangin?" Jelaine broke in laughing not even knocking at my door. Maybe she did, I just didn't hear.

"yup, kausap ko si mr. and mrs. air pati yung anak nila na si wind. Enjoy nga sila kausap eh. Try mo minsan." I immediately thought as a comeback. She raised her eyebrow and threw a you-already-caught-a-malignant-foolishness-syndrome gawp at me. What should I suppose? :

"no need, matino pa naman ako eh" she responded. "may phone call ka"

"sino?" I asked but she just turned her back and shrugged.

I stood up to go to our living room and reached for the phone. "hello? sino 'toh?"

"hello..it's Mike.." he answered back.

"oh..baket? pa'no mo nalaman landline namin?" I asked in a puzzled tone.

"nahanap ko sa internet..akalain mo yun? nandun kayo..sikat pala family mo eh." he joked.

"nye..ang corny" I deridingly commented.

"joke lang..nakuha ko kay Erlyn, tinext ko kanina" he went back to his normal tone.

"ba't ka napatawag?"

"mangangamusta lang..bakit? masama?"

"oo masama!"

"bakit naman? anong ginawa ko sa'yo?" ???

"basta! ano nga? seryoso na..ano sasabihin mo?"

"sasabihin ko lang sana na.." he paused.

"na? ano??". I demanded.

“my gusto sana akong sabihin sa’yo..” he started once more. “importante ‘toh para sa’kin, lalo na sa nararamdaman ko..kasi ano..” his voice toned down.

Ang tagal naman ng sasabihin nito!

"ano na?!"

"gusto na kita..










..bigyan ng binggo!" he laughed on the other line.

"ang corny mo talaga!"

"haay, hindi kita nahuli dun ah! Akala ko magugulat ka sa sinabi ko eh."

"whatever! Ano na nga?!" I'm getting furious this time.

"ita-tanong ko lang kung anong song yung gusto mo para mahanap ko yung tabs.."

"ikaw na bahala. Sige, bye" I ended our conversation without even letting him reply.

Nasabi ko ba noon na isa siyang blessing? Binabawi ko na! He’s a nuisance! A menace! I can't stand talking to him with my mood right now. Nakakaasar eh! Matapos akong pilitin sa ayaw kong gawin mang-aasar pa sa phone!

Nagpaalam ako sa parents ko na magkakaro'n kami ng practice bukas tapos bumalik ulit ako sa kwarto nang napansin kong may natanggap pala akong message sa cellphone. Sino pa nga ba? It's my so-called angel.

: kamusta?

: badtrip ako eh!

: bat naman? any prob?

: meron talaga! Pinipilit ba naman kasi ako ni Mike, classmate and class pres namin na gawin ko yung ayoko!

: bat anong gusto niyang ipagawa sayo?ü

: pinapakanta n'ya ko for our group activity sa english. in front of the class! eh ayoko, nahihiya ako eh.

: ahh.. y naman? I'm sure magaling ka naman kumanta..ü

He's sure? ??? Err.. Pa'no mo nasabi yan eh hindi mo pa naman siguro ako naririnig noh!

: no! ur wrong! I'm not confident enough..

: kailangan mo lang bumilib sa sarili mo. i know u can do it if u would just try. trust me, alam kong kaya mo yun..ü

Alam mong kaya ko? Eh ako nga hindi ko alam na kaya ko eh..ba't ikaw alam mo?? Ikaw nalang kaya kumanta kapalit ko..angel naman kita diba? iligtas mo ko!! :

: so u mean, i really should sing??

: yup!ü

Waah.. pati siya hindi kumakampi sa'kin! angel ba talaga kita o ikaw yung demonyong kakampi ni Mike?! grr..

: ano ba! pati ba naman ikaw! is that really d right thing to do, huh?

: i think it's not d right thing nor the wrong thing to do..u just have to try..ü think about this: if God gives u something u can do, why in God's name wouldn't u do it?ü Basta, believe in urself lang..

I would make that as a part of my Life Guide. Philosophy #8 , that is.

: tnx..ü

What a pep talk! I must admit, it's rather effective. His encouragements worked, kung sino man siya.

okay, I made up my mind, wala na 'tong atrasan, kahit naman umatras pa 'ko sigurado namang itutulak pa rin ako ni Mike eh!

Not too later, doubt crossed my mind once again.

magagawa ko nga ba yun ng maayos? ay! oo nga naman pala.. Naimbento pala yung word na "practice" noh? Tama, magpapraktis kami..I will do my part kahit na napipilitan lang ako. Sino nga naman ako para magreklamo..eh siya yung leader ng group!

Game na talaga. "i will sing..may choice pa ba?!"


***


The next day, Mike kept on looking at me in a silly way especially when there’s free time and no teacher is around. I don’t want the attention he’s giving me, it’s not normal anymore.

“problema mo ba?” I started.

“wala..” he answered with a smile.

Pa-ngiti ngiti pa! “wala? bat kanina ka pa tingin ng tingin, huh?” ???

“pinagbabawal na ba ng batas na tumingin sa isang tao?” he crossed his arms and gazed at me more fixedly, still with his smile.

I made an are-you trying-me glare at him. Lucky for me, his staring concentration didn’t wrecked at all.

“eh bat nakatitig ka na din sa’kin? naga-gwapuhan ka sa’kin noh?” he said grandly.

I just maintained glaring at him for almost three minutes. He was still gazing, why won’t he give up? After a while, I felt awkward and stopped glaring.

“talo ka pala eh!” he said confidently with a smirk.

Inirapan ko siya. Naiinis na ‘ko. Mahilig ba talaga ‘tong mambwisit?! Ang feeling masyado! >

“ang hangin naman dito!” I answered back as I stood.

“uy!” he held my hand. “kaya ako tumitingin sa’yo kasi tyumityempo lang ako kung yayayain na ba kitang magpraktis..wala namang teacher eh..” he explained.

“mamayang dismissal nalang..’pag wala ng tao!” I furiously said. I pulled my hand from his to loosen from his grip and sat at a bookshelf by the window.

At dismissal time, we waited until Mike, me, and Erlyn were the only people in the room. I asked Erlyn to stay with us. I don’t want to be alone with Mike! He’s pissing me off! >

“ano ba song piece niyo?” Erlyn asked Mike.

I looked at Mike as he showed a paper. “eto, saving grace..maganda yung tono ni--”

“bakit yan?! ang taas kaya niyan!” I interrupted him

“kaya mo ‘toh noh!” he claimed.

“hindi kaya!” I disagreed. Mahihirapan ako sa pagkanta nun.

“oo kaya!” he opposed. Before I could speak, he started playing the keyboard. His fingers were smoothly moving on top of the tabs creating a pleasing music. Ang galing niya.

“oh, kumanta ka na” Erlyn pushed me closer to Mike while he was keyboarding. Mike looked at me which was a hint. It’s a signal for me to enter after the interlude. I looked at the lyrics then at him. I have this doubtful expression on my face but he nodded his head and beamed at me.

“night and day..i seek your face..” I started singing. I can hear my voice trembling which was probably the reason why he stopped.

“hey guys, kailangan ko nang umuwi..mauna na ko Hilary ah? Kakatext lang ng mom ko eh..” Erlyn abruptly said.

Ano? Maiiwan kaming dalawa ni Mike? Asar naman eh! “ganon ba? oh sige..ingat ka ah?” I responded.

“bye, ingat!” said Mike.

“ingat din kayo. Mike, matatagalan pa ba kayo? Ingatan mo yan ah!” she smiled back as she waved goodbye.

“akong bahala” he winked at her. Ikaw nga bahala, ako naman kawawa!

“start ulit tayo..umayos ka ah?!” he demanded. Yeah, fine. Para naman kasing napakadali nung pinapakanta mo. Eh ikaw nalang kaya?! >

I answered him with silence. He started playing the instrument again. I progressed until the third line but my voice was still no good and for the second time, he stopped. I repeated it over and over again and he stopped over and over again too. We didn’t even finish the first stanza.

“umayos ka naman..” he requested. I was utterly quiet.

“aba..hindi ka bumanat ah..natahimik ka yata?” he chuckled. Still, I remained hushed. “oy, galit ka ba sa’kin?”

Wow naman. Ngayon mo lang nahalata?!

“alis na ‘ko. bukas nalang ulit. pahiram muna nitong lyrics, pag-aaralan ko sa bahay.” I impassively answered as I turned my back to him.

“wait lang! malapit na gumabi, ihahatid na kita.” he offered. Aalis na nga ako kasi ayaw kitang makasama, pati ba naman sa pag-uwi ko gusto mo pang sumunod?!

“wag na! kaya ko’ng sarili ko!” I responded in a hostile behavior.

I went to where my bag was placed. As I was fixing some of my things, he kept the keyboard somewhere in the classroom but I didn’t wait for him. Instead, I quickly made my way down through the stairs. Outside the school, there was already a jeep. I began walking towards it when Mike called me from behind. I made a halt, but didn’t look.





























“ingat ka ah?”

Chapter 8
Traversing With Menace


While waiting for our next class, I decided to wallow privately and make my own nook near the bookshelves by the window then slouched with my left hand supporting my chin. I’m better off looking at the school garden’s view rather than watching how silly some of my classmates were doing baloney stuffs. :

“buti pa yung mga puno’t halaman, tinititigan mo. Sana puno nalang ako” I recognized his voice immediately.

“they’re worth my stare than you are and mind you, kahit maging puno ka pa, tititigan ko pa rin yung mga yan maliban lang sa puno na sinasabi mo..” : I proudly said with determination. He sat on the bookshelf and I tried to look at him waiting for his reaction. He chuckled but wasn’t looking at me and ran his hand through his hair. By the time when he noticed I was looking, our eyes met.

“hmm?” he muttered while smiling. I stared at him. Hanggang dun nalang ba yun? Wala na bang second move para mainis pa ako lalo? I swiftly shifted my head from his face. Why should I even bother about him? ???

There was moment of silence and we remained on our positions. He sat there while I was on his side staring in the open air. I wondered who would first break the restrain between us.

“mamaya, praktis ulit..” he finally initiated as he jumped from the bookshelf and walked away.

“baka ang ibig mong sabihin..mamaya, torture ulit..” : I whispered.

“Hill, punta kaming c.r..sama ka?” Joy emerges with Erlyn and Kryzl with her.

“ahh..hindi, kayo nalang..” I declined.

“bat ba nagsesenti mode ka, huh?” Kryzl asked.

“ganyan talaga, yan. Minsan gusto niya tumulala kung saan-saan. Hindi na kayo nasanay..” Erlyn answered for me.

I grinned as I heard that from her. In return, they also flashed a smile as they went off.

Just as they were gone, I saw someone on the peripheral of my eyes pulling a chair near to me. “bat mag-isa ka dito?” asked Jake.

“ahmm..wala lang” I answered with a smile.

“balita ko kakanta ka daw ah?” he beamed.

“huh? pa’no mo nalaman?” ??? I inquired.

“kinuwento sa’kin ni Mike kanina lang..” he answered.

“nakakaasar talaga yun! Pinagkakalat ah! Napilitan lang naman ako eh..ayoko talaga..” I felt uncomfortable. It’s the first I’m talking with Jake in person. At sa lahat ng pwedeng pag-usapan bakit yung tungkol pa dun? Namiminggo na talaga sa’kin yang Mike na yan! >

“ahh..hindi ah, hindi niya pinagkakalat, ako palang daw yung sinabihan niya kasi alam niyang ayaw mo pang ipaalam sa iba..eh nagkataon na ako kasi close naman kami. Don’t worry, if that’s what you want, di ko ipagsasabi sa iba nating classmates.” he explicated and clarified it to me as to defend Mike.

“ganun ba..thanks” I felt relief.

“better surprise them nalang next week, diba?” he riposted.

“siguro nga pero I’m still not sure kung anong magiging outcome eh..” :-\ I sighed.

“gano’n? hindi yan..” he tapped me on my shoulder. “ikaw pa! kaya mo yun noh! gusto mo i-cheer pa kita eh..” he had this elating expression in his face.

“nye..hindi ka bagay maging cheer leader!” I jested.

He hooted. “para sa’yo magchi-cheer ako..bagay man sa’kin o hindi” ;D Jake grinned.

“talaga lang ah?” I chuckled.

“oo naman noh! why not?”


***


Mike ordered our classmates to go home immediately after our class so we won’t wait for the room to be empty. It would take 30 precious minutes before they would scram so he’d better command them so we could start our practice early. This time, it’s only the two of us. Erlyn needed to go home early and so were Kryzl, Joy, Carla, and Jhoyce. Wala akong nakuha maski isa sa kanila na pwedeng sumama sa’ming dalawa ni Mike.

“game..” he started playing the instrument. After I crooned some of the lyrics, he ceased. “ulit!” he demanded. I began singing again. When he wasn’t satisfied, he would terminate. This was the process that kept on repeating.

It’s already 4:30 pm but we’re still rehearsing and because of the recurrence, I already memorized the entire lyrics.

“lakasan mo pa, pano ka nila nyan maririnig?” he ordered.

“nahihiya nga ako” :-[ I explicated.

“tayo lang naman tao dito eh..wag kang matakot lakasan, ako lang naman nakikinig eh..” he reassured me.

Once again, he played the keyboard and this time, I improved my volume.

“sabi ko na nga ba, kaya mo eh..isa pa ulit ah?” he said.

He began playing. When I was about to sing the chorus part, some elementary students ran along the corridors so I stopped.

“oh baket?” he looked at me intently.

“kasi..may mga bata eh” I answered.

“kanina pinagbigyan na kita na isipin mo na tayo lang dalawa ang nandito at ako lang ang nakikinig..but this time, I would want you to think that you have other listeners aside from me. Konti lang naman yung mga batang yun ah..kung hindi ka makakanta dahil sa limang taong yun, ano pa kaya sa actual performance na halos lagpas trenta yung nakikinig?” he reprimanded.

Eh yun nga yung dahilan kung ba’t ayokong kumanta diba? Tapos ngayon magde-demand ka dyan! Kaasar ka talaga! >

There goes the process again. He played, I sang, and it’s either me or him who stopped until the time reached 6:00 pm and I felt tired already.

“start na..” he insisted.

“teka lang, ayoko na..pahinga muna tayo..” I pleaded.

“hindi pwede! sa Monday na ‘toh eh..hindi naman tayo makakapagpraktis bukas saka sa Linggo kasi weekend at alam kong may kanya-kanya tayong gagawin sa mga araw na ‘yun!” he sharply responded.

“ipapakilala kita sa konsepto ng pagod!!” I glowered at him and walked away. I went to a corner of the room, sat with my back resting on the wall, tucked my knees and rested my head on it. When I heard his footsteps coming closer to me, I lifted my head.

“tumayo ka na nga dyan! sige, last na ‘toh. Kapag maayos na, uuwi na tayo” he offered his hand but I just stared at him. “swear, uuwi na talaga tayo pagkatapos nito basta ayusin mo lang at para magawa mo yun..believe in yourself, isipin mo na kaya mo, okay? Binigyan ka ng Diyos ng ganyang talent kaya wag kang mahiyang gamitin..” he flashed a smile.

kung magsalita siya ngayon, parang siya yung angel ko ah. Hmm.. posible kaya na.. hay nako, hindi noh! Kung anu-ano na yung iniisip ko! Pagod lang siguro ako. :-\ Though I’m still annoyed, I held his hand and stood up.

Before he could start, I positioned myself by the window. While looking outside, I earned all my esteem and thought of something to add on my Life Guide.

Philosophy #9: Never underestimate the power of positive thought. Just believing that you can is half the journey to actually succeeding.

I should be optimistic this time. “ready na ‘ko” I told him. Because I’m determined to go home and take a rest, I gave all my best. I sang aloud, correctly, and confidently. When I finished, I walked towards him and glared at him. “masaya ka na?!” I furiously exclaimed then walked away to grab my bag and go home.

“teka lang!” he shouted. But I didn’t mind.

Habang pauwi na ako, natatakot ako. Gabi na kasi eh tapos maglalakad pa ‘ko pagkababa ko ng jeep. Dapat nagpahatid ako! Kaso galit naman ako kay Mike eh..kaya wag na! Tawagan ko kaya parents ko na sunduin ako sa gate ng subdivision? kaso kulang yung load ko! Hala! Pa’no na?

Pagbaba ko sa jeep, lumakas yung pagtibok ng puso ko. Madilim na talaga sa subdivision namin, nakakatakot! Palapit na ‘ko nang palapit sa may kanto malapit sa’min. Napakaswerte ko naman! Para akong nanalo sa lotto dahil naabutan ko dun yung mga naglalasing, grabe! Ang saya ko naman! Waah! Nagkakatuwaan sila, hanggang sa matanaw nila ‘ko.

“miss!” a drunken man called. I know I’m the one he’s referring to since I’m the only one walking on the street that time. I tried to walk past them.

“psst!” another one uttered. Kinakabahan na talaga ‘ko! Mga lasing ‘toh! Tumayo pa yung isa, naglakad palapit sa’kin. Waah! Anong balak nito?

I walked faster but the man obstructed my way. “miss, mag-isa ka lang?”

“huh? ah..eh” I felt anxious. Can somebody help me at this instant time, place, and situation? Sige na, kahit sino na Lord!! Help!!

“ang ganda mo pala eh” he whistled. “mga pare! ang ganda nito!” he announced to his mates.

Uh-oh! Sana nagmukha nalang akong monster sa paningin niya! I tried to run but once again, he impeded.

“oh! sa’n ka pupunta? hatid na kita” he leered and attempted to grab my bag from my shoulder to carry it but I refused and moved backwards. Hindi safe! “nahiya ka pa eh” he said lasciviously. This ain’t good no more!

“wag na po! uuwi akong mag-isa!” I shrilled. Once again, I tried to escape but my tactics didn’t work. Worse, another man stood and was about to walk towards us. Yung isa nga hindi ko natakasan, ano pa kaya ‘pag dalawa na sila?! Waah!! I backed off to maintain a distance from the other while another was about to come. Just about the time the second man started to walk towards me, I felt someone from behind..

continuation..


“honey..” a voice coming from a lad called as he draped an arm on my shoulder. The man that was about to come towards me made a standstill. “anong problema dito?” ???

“problema? haha!” the man laughed. “wala! baket?!”

I was immobilized, not even able to turn my head to look at the lad right next to me. With his arm draped on my shoulder, he pulled me closer to him. “wala naman pala eh!” he snorted.

“aba! sumasagot ka pa sa masmatanda sa’yo ah! wala kang galang ah!” the man bursted out with wrath.

“natural sasagot ako, tinanong mo ‘ko eh! kaso lang hindi pala yung tanong mo yung sinagot ko noh?” he disputed. Whoa! pinilosopo pa yung lasing! “saka walang galang?! sino kaya sa’tin ang walang galang ngayon?! after all, you deserve derision instead of deference!” he continued. All I could do was stare at the man, watch him getting raged.

“ano? der--ano ulit? alak ba yun? hindi ako waiter para mag-serve nun noh! ahaha! teka nga, bat ka ba nakikialam sa’min dito?!” the man replied as the other drunken chap that was in a standstill went back to his chair.

“ayy..di nagets..” he gruffed. I could feel his breath but yet, I didn’t dare to look at him. My eyes were fixed on the drunken man. I’m getting nervous, focusing on what he might do to us. “sabi ko ikaw ang walang galang! binabastos mo girlfriend ko!” he yelled.

The man was about to argue again but suddenly backed off and his face grimaced. “ay! girlfriend mo ba pare? pasensiya na, nakita kasi naming mag-isa..ihahatid ko lang sana” he alibied with a tamed voice then walked back to his mates while looking sideways at our backs. I tried to turn my head to look at my back then saw a guard walking towards our direction. He must have heard the commotion happening. So that’s why the obtuse drinker got startled.

Before I could look at the face of the bloke who saved me, he hauled me along, still with his arm draped on my shoulder. “halika na..” he said. But I know who owns this voice!

“ehem! malayo na tayo, pwede mo nang tanggalin yang kamay mo noh!” I mandated him and removed his hand from my shoulder while we were walking. “nananantsing ka na yata eh!”

“hindi ah!” he defensed. “ikaw na nga tinulungan eh!”

“bat sinabi ko bang tulungan mo ‘ko?!” I scolded.

“ahh ganon?! oh sige, i-rewind natin, bumalik tayo dun, iiwan kita sa kanila!” he exclaimed. I stopped walking.“oh baket nanaman?” he went in front of me looking dubious about me while I looked into his eyes.

“Mike, thank you..” my tears started to fall as I hugged him. “kung hindi ka dumating baka kung ano nang ginawa nila sa’kin!” I blubbed.

I was sobbing in his shoulder while he stroked soothing circles on my back which made me feel that I’m safe, that nobody could harm me. “hey, tahan na...







































..nandito na ‘ko.”

continuation..


Mike walked me home. While on the street, he broke in. “hon, okay ka na?”

“honey ka dyan! hindi na kita bf..tapos na yung palabas kanina noh!” I said while still gasping.

“bakit, ayaw mo na bang ituloy? mamahalin naman kita ah! he asked with a ridiculous smile.

“ano??” I jeered and looked at him.

“bakit? sa tingin mo ba gagawin ko nalang yung ginawa ko kanina basta basta?! baka nga nasaksak pa ko ng mga yun eh! pero dahil sa’yo..” he paused. I looked at him enigmatically.

“eto naman, syempre joke lang! gusto lang naman kitang patawanin eh..” he clarified.

Ahh, joke lang naman pala ehh..I returned a smile. “kahit kelan ka talaga!”

“ikaw, matapos mo kong gawing crying shoulder ah..sige, ganyan ka! basa na nga polo ko oh..” he stopped walking then checked his polo.

I stood in front of him and jutted my head near to his shoulder to check it too. “ay, oo nga..sus! matutuyo din naman yan!” I looked up to his face to flash a smile. But this time, our faces were closer. He didn’t say a word. He was just staring deeply into me.

I felt awkwardness. :-[ “ahmm..pasensiya na” I softly uttered then immediately looked down and started walking again.

“uy, hintayin mo naman ako..” he said. I decreased my speed for him to catch me up. “bat bigla kang bumilis?”

“wala lang!” I muttered. “hmm..I just want to ask, why did you bother to come here?” I inquired.

“it’s just that..you know..it’s already late, and..you’re a girl. Do you see the picture?” I nodded. “may nagsabi din sakin kung san yung subdivision niyo pero saka ko na ikekwento kung sino. Tapos pumunta na ko dito. Pagdating ko nga hindi ko alam kung sa’n banda ka na napadpad, good thing narinig ko yung boses mo kanina kaya nalaman ko na nandon ka pala sa kanto..” he answered calmly.

“nag-aalala ka sa’kin noh!” I jested.

“huh? hindi noh! ginagawa ko lang responsibilidad ko. Di ba sabi ko kay Erlyn, akong bahala sa’yo? baka ipagsabi niya na pinapabayaan kita sa practices natin tapos isipin ng ibang tao hindi ko iniingatan ang isang babae, masira pa yung gwapo kong image” then bigla siyang nagpa-cute.

“uh-huh? may image kang gano’n?” I chortled.

“oh, edi natawa ka” he looks silly with his facial expression.

“nakakatawa kasi itsura mo..nagpapa-cute ka pa dyan” I stated while still laughing. He also began to laugh with me until we reached our house. “nandito na tayo..”

“oh sige, pumasok ka na..” he said and started to turn his back.

“uy, sandali lang!” I called then he turned his head. “ingat ka sa daan saka thank you ulit”

He flashed a smile. “no prob!” he waved goodbye then went off.


***


hindi ko nalang sasabihin sa parents ko, baka sa susunod hindi na nila ko payagang lumabas ng bahay eh. Mag-iingat nalang ako next time. Tama, gano’n nalang. I went inside our house as if nothing happened.

“what took you so long?” Jelaine asked.

“huh? gosh! I was so busy eh..you know..shooting, pictorials, shows, ramp modeling, guestings..I’m so tired na nga eh..” : I joked.

“is that so?” ??? she was starting to laugh. “eh nakuhanan mo ba ‘ko ng autograph galling sa mga artistang nakasama mo?”

“ohh..sorry! I forgot..next time, okay?” I told her in a sweet voice.

“ang corny mo ah!” she said while giggling. “sabi ni mama kumain ka na daw pagdating mo.”

“sige..puntahan ko muna sila” I answered and went to my parent's room.

My mama is ironing some of our clothes while my papa is reading something on their bed when I arrived there.

“ginabi ka ah..” my father uttered.

“natagalan po kasi yung practice namin for an activity..” I explicated.

“kumain ka na ba? tapos na kasi kami eh..kainin mo nalang yung nasa dining table..” my mother said while ironing.

“oo nga, sige magbihis ka na din..” pa said as he lifted his head from what he’s reading.

“okay po..” I answered then went off to change clothes and eat. I didn’t tell my family anything about the incident. :-X

After some time, may nagtext sa’kin.

: safe now?

Aba! Parang alam na niya agad kung anong nangyari ah. I have this sense na talaga! Baka nga..

: okay na ‘ko..

: buti naman..ü

: bakit ganun? Alam mo na ba kung anong nangyari sa’kin??

: yah..

: updated ka sa buhay ko ah!ü

: hehe..syempre naman..angel mo ‘ko eh!ü

: nga pala, sabi mo poprotektahan saka babantayan mo ‘ko lagi diba? eh nasa’n ka kanina? huh? hehe!


Ayaw mo pa magpakilala ah! Tignan natin..Baka mabuking ko na ‘toh this time. ;D













































..Aamin na kaya?? ???

continuation..


Siguro naman diba? ??? Aamin na ‘toh!! Sasabihin na din niya kung sino siya! Malalaman ko na! Aaminin niya din na siya yung kasama ko kanina! Na siya yung nagligtas sa’kin! Siya yun! Sasabihin na niya na siya si..





na siya si..






siya si..







si..








si Jake?!




















nagtext?!


Sender:
jaKe
+63919*******

ui, hi!ü

akala ko si ano na eh! :

: "hello din..

ayan! tamang-tama! total excited na ‘kong malaman kung sino si angel at di ko pa natatanong si Jake, ngayon na siguro yung time para matanong ko siya! ;D

..nga pala, tatanong ko lang..kilala mo ba kung kanino ‘tong number na ‘toh?? +63920*******.."

after a while, he texted back.

: sorry, do ko kilala eh..baket?

: ayy..ganon ba..wala naman..hehe..tnx nalang..

nako naman! hindi naman niya kilala! sino ba kasi yun??

: okay..gawa mo?

: pahinga..nakakapagod praktis namin eh..kaw?

: ako? iniisip ka..yun lang naman..


Ahh..


...okay! Iniisip mo lang naman pala ‘ko eh..mabuting gawain yan tsong, ipagpatuloy mo lang.. O0





When it irrevocably sank in my comprehension by the twinkling of an eye, I was flummoxed!





“teka!! ano daw?!” I exclaimed.




“woi! quiet naman! ‘di ko na naintindihan pinapanood ko oh, bigla ka nanamang nambulabog dyan! nagtanong pa! you won’t be able to find the answer in me noh!” Jelaine complained with eyes focused on the television.

“sorry lang ah..” I uttered.

“yeah, fine..accepted..basta shh ka lang! ang ganda na ng scenes eh” she said while I can see her mesmerized and her eyes sparkling in amazement to what she’s watching. “wait lang, sino ba ka-text mo saka anong ti-next?” ???

“ah..wala..basta!” I blurted out.

Kapag sinabi ko kay Jelaine yung ti-next ni Jake, baka asarin lang ako niyan eh! Makunsumi pa 'ko! :

Philosophy #10: Some things are better left unsaid.

..kaya i-sisikret ko nalang sa kanya. :-X

“wala ka dyan!” she stood up, sat beside me and was about to peep on my cellphone but I successfully impeded her plan.

I immediately stood up so she looked up on me while she was sitting. “nagulat lang ako kasi nag-text yung..” I paused. What am I going to say? :-\

“yung?” ??? she asked with a curious look on her face.

“ahmm..yung..yung si Carla!” tama si Carla!

“next week na daw pala kasi yung pasahan nung project eh kaso hindi ko pa nauumpisahan kaya a-ayun, na-natense ako!” I smiled unauthentically.

“talaga?” she’s starting to become suspicious.

“oo, ganun na nga! sige ah..idikit mo na ulit yung mata mo sa t.v. Ipagpatuloy mo lang..ang ganda kasi nung kumukutikutitap-effect-in-your-eyes sa’yo eh!” ;D I perturbingly said then proceeded hurriedly to my room to escape her tormenting questions that might sprout from her.

“kumukitikutitap effect?” ??? I heard her asking herself as I ran to my room. Nothing in this world could ever stop her inquisitiveness..so better hide if you want to have seclusion.

I want Jake to clarify what he had just texted. Here in my room, I’m alone, so the area’s safe. Now is the time to reply.

Send to:
jaKe
+63919*******

anong ibig mong sabihin do’n??









message sending..
























pero..
























check operator services?!

Chapter 9
Think Abouts


My unlimited text load has already expired and to my nonchalance, I also spent my remaining 2 pesos regular load without my knowledge. Nalaman ko nalang nung biglang bumungad sa pagmumukha ko yung "check operator services" na yun, and where did I spend it? I spent it for a pety text conversation! Yeah, a pety one! Kung tutuusin dapat ginastos ko nalang yun sa masimportante na bagay like for emergency use. Siguro 2 pesos lang naman yun, di ko naman ikamamatay diba? pero kahit na, sayang pa rin!

Pero asar din eh noh? Nakakapagtaka yung huling tinext ni Jake kaya gusto kong ipalinaw kaso wala na nga kong load eh. Hindi na ‘ko nakabili kagabi kasi ayun..gabi na nga. Hiramin ko kaya yung cellphone ng parents ko? Meron naman silang isa, share sila dun kaso nasira naman kaya pinapagawa pa at yun ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ko sila matext kagabi na sunduin nila 'ko sa gate ng subdivision, tatawag nalang sana ako sa landline namin pero kulang nga yung 2 pesos na pangcall. Buti nalang talaga dumating si Mike. Si Jelaine kaya? nevermind! ano naman ang hihiramin ko dun eh sa pagkakaalam ko within this month palang siya bibilhan.

Sabado naman na, pwede na kong bumili..ang problema nga lang, wala akong pera! Sarili ko kasing allowance ang ginagamit ko para do’n. So here I am, my questions weren’t answered. Yung angel? ??? wala! hindi na nagreply!! loko yun ah!

I’m so hopeless naman! Makagala na nga lang sa labas.

“pa, ill just have some walk..” I told him when I found him watching television with Jelaine. I was about to turn when Jelaine started to speak.

“aalis ka? eh pano yung project mo?” she asked with a devious look. Kung magtanong ‘to parang sa kanya ako nagpaalam ah! Nanay? ???

“may project ka pala?” my dad asked.

“meron yan, next week na nga daw yung pasahan eh, nitong monday na”

Nice one Jelaine! May bibig naman ako para sumagot ah! Ikaw kausap? ???

“ah..eh..yup..kaya ko naman tapu--“

“i-ninform daw sa kanya ni CARLA kagabi!” [she gave an emphasis on Carla’s name.

ano bang problema nito? ba’t pa niya i-nopen yung tungkol dun, eh gawa-gawa ko lang naman yun! :

“within the subdivision lang naman ako eh, I’ll just stroll and Pa, besides essay writing yung project kaya I can finish that on due time.” I said that while exchanging glances with Jelaine.

I saw my dad doing a thumbs up so I turned and started to walk. When I was a few inches away, napabulong nalang ako: "essay writing? charing!" :

Ito namang si paa, kung sa’n-sa’n ako dinala. Lakad dito, lakad do’n, kaliwa sa may kanto, mamaya kanan naman..hanggang sa napadaan ako sa court. May mga naglalaro kaya naupo ako sa bench para manood ng game nila.

Ang galling naman nung nakikita ko. Takbong takbo pa nga eh. Siguro varsity siya sa school nila, matangkad eh. Ayun, naka-shoot nanaman. Tapos..teka lang, ba’t huminto sila? oh! lumingon pa siya sa’kin..ang gwapo naman pala.




Naglalakad na siya..





..papunta dito?! ???



“hey, taga-rito ka pala?” he sat right next to me.

“you look familiar? have we met before?” was what I asked as I looked at him.

Nagtaka nalang ako nung bigla siyang nag-snap in front of my eyes using his fingers.

“ok ka lang?” his hand was still in front of me then he touched my forehead. “wala ka namang sakit ah..” then he smiled. Yun yung time na bumalik yung katinuan ko.

“ayy!” I exclaimed. Si Jake pala! “ji-no-joke lang kita noh!” then I forced a fake laugh.

“that’s good..akala ko naman kinalimutan mo na agad kung sino ako eh..” he has still the smile on his face.

Naniwala naman? ??? Ang tottoo kasi, hindi ko siya ka’gad napansin, nawala ako sa sarili ko kanina eh. Ano ba naman kasi ako! Buti nalang nauto ko ‘to este napapaniwala pala na ji-noke ko lang siya. Parang pareho lang yun ah? Nauto, naniwala? whatever! :

“kalimutan kung sino ka? pa’no kaya yun mangyayari eh classmates tayo?!” ;D

Nagtanong pa ‘ko eh nangyari na nga kanina diba? harhar!

“..ba’t ka nga pala napadpad sa court dito sa’min?”

“may kabarkada kasi ako dito eh..nagkayayaan na magbasketball..”

“ahh ganun ba..” I glanced at his mates who continued playing. “napanood kita kanina..” then looked at him once again. “high spirited ah!”

“it's your ability.."

Ability ko? ???

"it was you who was playing..not me." Then I turned my body to face him. "so what ability are you talking about?" ??? I inquired.

"when I saw you sitting here..it's like, you gave me vigour.. ” he beamed.

I returned a smile too. Then there was moment of silence. Pero okay ‘tong opportunity na ‘to, I don’t need a cellphone load anymore to ask him. He’s right beside me!

“I want to ask something” I broke the silence.

“then what is it?”

“about the text..what was that supposed to mean? and sorry nga pala, I ran out of load eh..” I was just looking straight ahead waiting for his answer..





I’m waiting..







..still waiting..











..ang tagal ah! so I looked at him and he was smiling. Baliw ba ‘to? Kanina pa ngiti ng ngiti eh!

Then he leaned closer to me.





“what?” ???

“I was thinking about you..”

“yeah, that’s what you texted..pero bakit?” I paused to contemplate. “ahh siguro kasi sa Monday na ‘ko kakanta kaya naisip mo ko..i-chi-cheer mo nga pala kasi ako” I slightly smiled at him but he’s just staring in a strange way. Nakakaloko!

“oi Jake! Tama na muna’ng career, game ulit!”

A guy called him so he stood up and walked towards them. Just about 7 steps away, he made a halt but didn’t turn to look at me..

“I meant what I said..
































..literally.”

continuation..


***


Monday morning, the supposed deadline for my essay writing project (err!) has come not too long. Good thing nobody reiterated me again about that project especially Jelaine because there wasn’t any project at all. It’s just an imaginary excuse for her not to intervene my private life. If there’s something due for today, it isn’t any project, but a group activity. To be quite particular, the presentation.

Pero bago yun, tanungin ko na kaya muna si Mike about sa angel thingy na yun? Hinde, later nalang, ngayon na yung presentation eh, kinakabahan ako sa pagkanta ko. Okay! mamaya nalang!

After some dreary subjects, English is next in line. The moment Teacher Nikki entered our clasroom, the groups did what they’re supposed to do..and finally our turn. When Erlyn and our two other group mates were done, Mike positioned his keyboard in front of the class so I went next to him. Right on cue, he started playing. When the interlude started, I heard loud voices from the corner of our room

“go Hilary!” one blurted out.

“galingan mo!” another shouted. There’s yelling and clapping only to figure out it was Jake’s group. Tinotoo nga, chineer ako. :

I looked at our teacher, she was smiling at me then nodded at me.

"remember how you sang last friday before you went home? do that again." Mike said to me and I just nodded.

I thought of the Philosophy #9 once again. Then, I felt no hesitations. I began to sing.


Saving Grace by Hillsong United (Sample Track Verse 1)

Saving Grace by Hillsong United (Sample Track Chorus)


We did a good job and our teacher was pleased so she gave our group a high grade.


***


Jhoyce, Carla and me were ready to go home. We said our goodbyes to Kryzl, Erlyn, and Joy and were on our way down the stairs when somebody called out for me.

“hilary! wait a sec!” Mike hollered.

“hay nako Mike! wag mong sabihing may ipagagawa ka nanaman sa kanya? ??? Dahil sa practice niyo, dalawang araw din namin siyang hindi nakasabay noh!” Jhoyce argued.

“oo nga, namiss namin siyang kasabay, wag mong agawin! kasabay namin siyang uuwi ngayon!” Carla jokingly said.

“easy lang..sure sasabay siya sa inyo. Tapos na naman yung presentation..nothing to practice this time. I’ll just excuse her, may I?”

"just go ahead to the gate, susunod nalang ako” I referred to Carla and Jhoyce.

“oh sige, hintayin ka namin do’n” Jhoyce said.

Then I turned to Mike. “so what are you going to tell me?” ???

“sabihin na nating..
























..something crucial on your part.."

okay, crucial pala..sabi mo eh..

“and?”

“and..I want to ask for an apology”

I speculated for a while. “for?”

“for..not telling you this earlier..”

“then?”

“then..I want you to stop responding with a one-syllabic word, okay?”

“fine!”

“ang tigas ng ulo mo!”

“why?!”

ugh! walang patutunguhan ‘tong usapan eh! I turned my back to him and prepared to walk but he held me in my hand so I turned to face him again.

“first, you held my hand nung yayayain mo ‘kong magpractice, second, this time..ayoko na ng pang-third ah!”

He let go of my hand. “fine! ayoko na din naman umabot pa for the third time..feeling mo naman!” he smirked.

“if I know tsi-natsansingan mo nanaman ako! why not try holding the hands of those girls going crazy over you?” I argued.

“so..nagseselos ka sa mga admirers ko?” ;D he’s still smiling insolently.

“ang kapal!! > bakit? meron ba?” ???

“ikaw na nga ang nagsabi diba?” he put his hands inside his pocket. “why not try holding the hands of those girls going crazy over you?” he shrugged mimicking somebody..err..of course that’s me. Parang kelan lang niligtas ako tapos ngayon bumalik nanaman sa dati! Nang-aasar nanaman!

In point of fact, he really has umpteen admirers from our school but I don’t care!

“ay oo nga pala, meron! They think you’re great..and I agree! You’re great kasi nabulag mo silang lahat!” I crossed my arms but the smirk on his face didn’t fade. Tibay ah! “so this is what you call ‘crucial’, huh?” ??? I went back to the original matter.

“actually, this isn’t it. Ikaw kasi, nang-aaway ka pa!”

That’s it! Wala na talagang kwenta! I started to turn my back on him once again but he acquired something from his pocket.

“wait, look at this” he showed me his cell phone so I stood in front of him steadily.

“so? cell phone? what’s with that?” does he think ngayon lang ako makakakita ng cell phone sa buong buhay ko?! Wait lang, cellphone? text! I’m supposed to ask him nga pala!

“teka, ikaw ba si--”

“cell phone? no, not that..but this..” he immediately interrupted what I was about to ask and showed me the screen of his mobile.

There’s a message which read:



Sender:
+63920*******

follow her sa Greensville subdivision! gabi na eh.



“kilala mo ba yan?” he asked but I just took his cellphone from him and checked the number on my phonebook. Yung lumabas na name sa phone ko after searching the number is ‘angel ko’. “I just thought na kailangan mong malaman na hindi ko alam kung sa’n ka pupuntahan if I didn’t receive that message. Nagtaka nga ako eh, bigla lang nagtext nung friday night after you left the room..

I listened eagerly to what he’s saying.

..i asked who he or she was..I really don’t know..and how that person got my number pero everytime I inquire, tanong din lang naman ang binabalik niya sa’kin katulad nalang ng kung ano na daw ang nangyari and kung safe ka daw ba. I supposed na baka parents mo yan at ikaw ang nagbigay ng number ko sa kanila para kung sakaling hindi ka nila makontak, ako yung kokontakin since tayo ang magkasama tuwing practice..”

“so you mean..hindi ka siya?!”

“huh?!” ??? nagtataka yung itsura niya.

“ah..kasi..ibig kong sabihin..hinde, wala.. :-X But that’s not my parent’s number. I don’t know who owns that..”

“well, kung sino man siya, that person seems to be worrying about you kaya nireplayan ko siya about the incident. Nakapag thank you ka na sa’kin nung Friday night but I’m informing you about this because I think you also owe that person a thank you, am I right?” he continued.

So that explains everything! Kaya pala updated siya sa nangyari..nakwento sa kanya ni Mike yung incident. Yung angel ko, hindi nga niya ko naprotektahan physically pero kung hindi dahil sa kanya, hindi ako mapupuntahan ni Mike. May naitulong pa din siya..kailangan ko ngang mag thank you sa kanya.

“sa tingin ko tama ka, magte-thank you ako, i-te-text ko nalang..sige, thanks sa info..” I said as I gave him back his phone. Napapaisip nanaman ako..kung hindi si Mike, sino yung angel? ??? Tama na nga muna ang pag-iisip! Uuwi na muna 'ko.

“wala yun..” I was about to go home pero naudlot nanaman because he grabbed my phone from my hand (tama ba naman yun?!) and pressed some buttons and started scrolling down the screen. I just remained standing in front of him. “wala pa pala dito number ko?” he pressed again the keypads.

yeah, I don’t have his number kaya inakala ko na baka number niya yun. Kaya lang, hindi pala sila iisa eh.

“wala kang number kay Allysa kaya wala siyang nasend sa’kin na business card mo after retreat nung nanghingi ako ng numbers..”

“after retreat? nung time kasi na yun hindi ko pa nabibigay kay Allysa yung number ko..”

“kaya pala eh..”

“okay na..sinave ko na sa fone mo..

Sinave? sinabi ko bang isave niya? ???

..eh yung sa’yo pala?” he gave me back my phone.

Bahala na nga, ibibigay ko na lang. I grabbed his phone, pressed my number and saved it. I gave it back to him afterwards then said goodbye. Anyway, pinuntahan ko na sina Jhoyce and Carla na naghihintay sa gate.

“ang tagal niyo naman mag-usap. Ano ba sinabi niya sa’yo?” Carla asked.

“basta. Mahabang kwento eh”

“okay” O0 Jhoyce and Carla chimed in unison.

Nasa labas na kami ng gate at paalis na nang may tumawag ulit sa’kin.

“ui, tawag ka ni Jake, ayun siya sa may court oh” sabi ni Jhoyce kaya napalingon naman ako.

“kaw ah! kanina si Mike ngayon naman si Jake” Carla teased.

“ano ba yan, nauudlot pag-uwi natin ah..”

“hayaan mo na noh! gwapo naman si Jake eh” ;D Carla jokingly said.

“ewan ko sa’yo! : sandali lang ulit ah..balik muna ko sa loob”

“dito lang kami..hihintayin ka ulit namin..”

Our school’s court is near the gate so I went inside the school again. Jake’s wearing a jersey. May training kasi sila sa basketball.

“oh bakit?”

“sorry, pinabalik pa kita dito sa loob..pauwi na yata kayo..”

“tinawag mo kasi ako eh pero ayos lang naman..bat mo pala ko tinawag?”

“actually, it’s not that important..gusto lang kitang makausap bago ka umuwi. Sige, okay na, kausap na kita ngayon kaya happy na ko.”

“gano’n? ??? ang weird mo ah!” I gave him a puzzled look.

“weird ba?” he chortled. “oh sige na, mag-i-i-start na ulit kami eh..ingat kayo sa pag-uwi ah?” then he flashed again one of his famous smiles.

“okay, ikaw din”

Naglalakad na ko papunta kina Jhoyce at Carla.

“Hilary!”

Ano ba yan! Pang-ilang beses nang may tumatawag sa name ko ah! Gusto ko nang umuwi! Pero sige, lumingon pa rin naman ako.

“I forgot to tell you..
























..I enjoyed your performance!”

Chapter 10
Whatever!


After talking to Jake, I finally was able to go home. I’m still bewildered by the fact that Mike and the one who’s texting me considering himself as my angel are not one person. Ang labo talaga! Naaala ko pa na halos pareho sila ng advice na sinabi sa’kin nung nagpapraktis pa ‘kong kumanta:

“if God gives you something you can do, why in God’s name wouldn’t you do it? Basta, believe in yourself lang..”

“believe in yourself, isipin mo na kaya mo, okay? Binigyan ka ng Diyos ng ganyang talent kaya wag kang mahiyang gamitin..”

Akala ko tuloy, iisa lang sila pero hindi nga eh, kaya possible na baka coincidence lang na nagkatugma yung sinabi nila, diba?

Enough already. I’m tired of searching and guessing who that person is. Kung ayaw niya magpakilala, edi wag! Ti-next ko siya ng “thank you” since alam ko na yung naitulong niya pero hindi na siya nagreply. Bahala na siya sa kung ano’ng gusto niyang mangyari, basta ako, hindi ko na siya poproblemahin.

Eh ano naman ang poproblemahin ko ngayon? si Jake? It seems that there’s something different about him. Nawiwirdohan na nga ako eh. Hindi naman kasi siya gano’n sa’kin dati. ??? si Mike? hay nako! bumalik nanaman sa pang-aasar. Nakaka-irita! Ano bang dapat kong gawin sa lalaking yun?! >

Teka nga! Ba’t ba ko naghahanap ng poproblemahin? Yung ibang tao dyan, gustong-gusto nilang lubayan sila ng mga problema, tapos ako, naghahanap ng pwedeng problemahin? Heck!


***


Just after a few minutes, our classes are going to start so I went to my locker to get my notebooks. What I’m annoyed about is, Mike’s at the corridors too, walking beside me. Aba! Hindi siya late? Himala! :

“hi! good morning” he greeted me but instead of greeting him back, I ignored him and walked as if I heard nothing. “ang suplada mo naman, masungit pa”

I glared at him for a while then looked straight ahead again. When I arrived on my destination, he also went to his locker not too far from mine. As I opened mine, something fell on the floor.

“what’s that? love letter?” he asked while looking at me.

I knelt down to pick the paper which fell. As I stood up, I noticed it was enclosed in an envelope, supposed to be a letter for me. From whom? It’s not written on the envelope so I don’t know.

“it’s none of your business” I answered Mike. After getting my stuff, I closed the locker’s door.

“may nagbibigay pa pala sa’yo ng love letter sa lagay na yan? tsk, tsk..poor lad..” he commented.

“duh!” I retorted back then started to walk.

“sige, mauna ka na nga sa classroom..”

I stopped beside him. “bakit? hinihintay ba kita?!”

“bakit? hindi ba?” he smirked.

“yeah right, feeling mo!” I responded then he just laughed. Umagang-umaga, naninira ng araw! >

I went back to our classroom and read the letter.

Hilary,

If I didn’t reply last Friday night, it’s because I ran out of load. Physically, I wasn’t there with you to protect you from the incident that happened kasi ayoko pa na makilala mo kung sino ako pero nando’n na naman si Mike. Mukha namang alam mo na kung ano’ng ibig kong sabihin, nag-text ka kasi ng thank you. I just want to say that you don’t have to thank me, your always welcome.

-your angel

After reading it, I kept it inside my bag. It’s not actually a love letter like what Mike thought. Yung mga locker namin, meron yung maliliit na opening, parang daanan ng hangin, kaya naipasok niya siguro yung letter sa locker ko. Ang pinagtatakahan ko lang, pa’no niya nalaman na yun nga yung locker ko saka pa’no niya nakuha yung cellphone number ni Mike? Pati nga number ko nakuha niya kaya nate-text niya ko, diba? Pa’no nga kaya? ??? Then bigla ko nalang naalala yung sinabi niya noon:

“I have my own ways..”

Okay, fine, he has his own ways. Nevermind!

Nung dumating na si Mike sa room, kasunod na niya yung teacher namin kaya nagstart na ang klase. Puro discussions ang inatupag namin hanggang sa nag-uwian na.

Nakita ko si bestfriend Giselle sa labas ng room niya kaya nagkwentuhan kami. Sinabi ko sa kanya yung tungkol sa incident nung Friday night pati na rin yung maling akala ko about Mike and yung unknown texter na angel ko daw.

“so obviously hindi mo pa siya kilala..gusto mo tulungan kitang hanapin para malaman natin kung sino ba yun?” she offered.

“hinde, thanks nalang. I’ve decided na hindi ko na poproblemahin kung sino siya. Ayaw talaga niyang magpakilala eh, if that’s what he wants then so be it.”

“right, what’s important is he’s willing to be there for you. It’s a good thing someone out there is caring for you. Wait, hindi kaya secret admirer mo yan?” she smiled.

“not like I know..” I said.

“oo nga pala, since Mike came to rescue you, are you two getting along well?” she diverted our topic.

“hay nako! hindi nga eh, madalas niya ‘kong inaasar! Ewan ko ba dun, hobby niya yata! >” I retorted and she just laughed. “si Jake pala..”

“Jake? classmates kami before. what about him?”

“iba siya these past few days..pinapansin niya ko samantalang noon, hindi naman”

“siguro trip ka niya?”

“gano’n?”

“malay natin?” she paused then looked at my back. “speaking of which..padating siya dito..” Lumingon ako sa likod ko, papalapit nga. “ui, Jake”

“hi!” he smiled at me then looked at Giselle. “friends pala kayo ni Hilary?”

“yeah, bestfriends” she answered.

“I see..”

“wala kayong training?” Giselle asked.

“wala ngayong araw na ‘to” then he looked at me. “hatid na kita..okay lang?”

“huh? hinde, ayos lang ako..wag nalang” I declined.

“but I insist..tara na?”

“pumayag ka nalang, di naman yan nangangain noh!” Giselle jested.

“see? payag naman bestfriend mo eh. Diba Giselle?” he smiled and Giselle nodded.

“oh sige, pero kasabay ko din sina Carla and Jhoyce na umuuwi eh..tawagin ko lang, nasa room pa sila eh..”

“samahan na kita..”

Nagpaalam na kami kay Giselle para bumalik sa room namin at tawagin yung dalawa. Nung palabas na kami ng room, naunang naglakad sina Jhoyce at Carla at kami naman ni Jake ang nasa likod nila. Lingon pa nga ng lingon yung dalawa eh tapos ngumingisi. 'Pag titignan ko naman yung reaksiyon ni Jake, nginingitian lang niya. Pagkababa namin ng stairs, nadaanan namin yung covered court tapos may nakatayo malapit sa gate, pinapanood yata yung training ng pep squad. Si Mike yun ah! Nung papalapit na kami sa gate, lumingon siya sa’min.

“oi Jake!” nakipag-appear ang loko. Kaming tatlo naman nina Carla, nakatayo lang sa tabi ni Jake.

“hindi ka pa uuwi?”

“pauwi na din, nanonood lang ako ng pep..” he said then he looked at me but I hauled my gaze away from him. “sasabay ka sa kanila?”

“oo, ihahatid ko kasi si Hilary”

“gano’n?!”

I can’t distinguish what his facial expression was. Whether irritation or shock, I really don’t know. Then, Mike suddenly smiled at me.
























“oh sige pare, sabay na din ako sa inyo..”









bakit?? ???

Sa jeep, ako yung unang pumasok. Umupo naman sina Carla at Jhoyce sa tapat ko, sabi ko nga tabihan naman nila ‘ko pero nagdaldalan lang sila. ??? Pumasok na din si Jake, tumabi siya sa’kin, tapos sumunod si mokong, di ko nga alam kung sa’n pupwesto yun eh.

tumayo siya sa tapat ko. “oist, paurong naman” tapos naghand gesture siya ng direction kung saan ako uurong. Napansin ko, pinapaurong niya ko..

























palayo kay Jake.











“oh ayan” umurong naman ako. When he was seated, he looked at me then he smiled..but in an insolent manner.

Hindi ko alam kung ano bang binabalak niya at gano’n siya kung makangiti. Nakakaloko yung ngiting yun ah!

Tahimik lang ako, nakatingin sa labas. Sina Jhoyce naman, may sariling mundo. Napatingin ako kina Jake, nag-uusap sila ni Mike pero hindi ko naman pinapakinggan. Siguro tinuturuan ni Mike ng mga kademonyohan! Nung napansin naman ni Mike na nakatingin ako, nag-make face pa. Bwisit! >

A little later, bumaba na si Carla, malapit lang kasi sa school yung bahay niya. Sumunod naman si Jhoyce at kaming tatlo nalang ang naiwan sa jeep. Malapit na din akong bumaba.

“pa--”

“para po!” Mike interrupted me.

unahan ba ‘ko?

Bumaba na ko at kasunod ko naman si Jake. Nagulat nalang ako nung bumaba din si Mike.

“ba’t dito ka bumaba? taga-san ka ba? akala ko lagpas pa sa subdivision namin?”

“sino naman nagsabi sa’yo?! eh taga--”

“taga dito lang din siya..” sabay turo naman ni Jake sa katapat na subdivision ng Greensville, na subdivision ko naman. Tumingin ako kay Jake at nginitian naman niya ko. Kelan ba hindi? Parang lagi naman niya kong nginingitian eh.

Dun lang pala siya nakatira? Ngayon ko lang nalaman yun ah. Katapat lang pala namin.

Nung nag-stop signal yung stoplight at nagsimula akong tumawid, pinagitnaan nila kong dalawa. Nagulat na naman ako, ang alam ko kasi si Jake lang ang maghahatid sa’kin, e ba’t sumasama ‘tong mokong?! Pagkatawid namin, huminto muna ‘ko.

“Mike, sasama ka din ba?”

“oo naman, sasamahan ko lang si Jake noh!” he ejaculated.

Jake looked puzzled. “ah..sige, tara, hatid na natin siya?” he just shrugged.

I started to walk so Jake followed beside me but Mike was just at our back. I turned my head to look at him. His one hand is at his pocket and I noticed his gaze was firmly fixed at Jake’s back. There’s no reaction on his face. He’s just impassively staring at him.

“tumingin ka sa dinadaanan mo, baka madapa ka” he suddenly uttered while still staring at Jake.

He startled me so I just heaved my gaze off him.

“ano daw sabi ni Mike?” Jake asked me.

“ah..wala yun” I answered ambivalently.

Not too long, we arrived at our house so we stopped walking. Jake stood beside me while Mike distanced himself but just a few meters away from us. I can still notice Mike staring at him but Jake wasn’t aware about it. Yet, Mike has no reaction at all. Just staring.

“thanks sa paghatid.”

“wala yun. ahmm..Hilary..” he stammered.

“yes?” I asked then I saw Mike walking closer to Jake.

“pwede bang--”

“Jake..” Mike draped his arm over his shoulders. “tara na, kailangan na niyang pumasok sa bahay nila.”

I gave Mike a dubious look but he just smirked.

“oh sige, mauna na pala kami, kita nalang tayo tomorrow..”

“okay, ingat kayo”

“tara na pare..” Jake referred to Mike.

“okay..” Mike said then gave me a glance.

The both of them started walking. Not too long, Mike turned his head. He didn't speak, but I read his lips.






“bye..” then he smiled. This time, not insolently..








































..but a genuine smile.

Chapter 11
Qualms

It’s currently our lunch break. I together with Erlyn, Kryzl, Joy, Carla, and Jhoyce, my closest friends inside our classroom, went to the canteen to eat.

“hey, hinatid ni Jake kahapon si Hilary!” ;D Carla spread the news to our group.

“weh? naks naman!” Kryzl commented then flashed a smile.

“dali! share what happened!” Joy excitingly said. She leaned closer to me. It seems that she’s ready to hear the whole thing.

“oo nga naman! ikwento mo na!” Erlyn uttered.

“nililigawan ka ba niya? or liligawan palang?” Jhoyce inquired with an anticipated look.

“what the! kinikilig ba kayo?!” ???

“naman! ang gwapo niya kaya!” ;D Jhoyce stated.

“he’s not courting me! if he’s going to court me, I really don’t know, okay?” I answered. “and..”

“and?” they all chimed in unison!

“..and sumama sa paghatid si Mike kaya hindi lang naman kaming dalawa ni Jake ang magkasama noh!” I declared in front of them then continued eating.

“si Mike? hmm..possible kaya na..” Joy paused and looked at Kryzl and Erlyn.

“nagseselos siya!” Kryzl and Erlyn simultaneously spoke then laughed afterwards and Joy nodded.

“definitely!” Carla added.

“that’s ridiculous!” : I mumbled. What’s up with these girls?! Kung ano-ano nalang pinag-iisip nila!


***


Good for me it’s already dismissal time. Nakakapagod din naman makinig sa mga discussions noh! Buti nalang at hindi naman madami ang homework namin ngayon, actually, isa lang naman eh. Physics!

“una na kami ni Joy ah? bye” Erlyn said.

“oo nga, bye! kita tayo tomorrow.” Joy waved goodbye.

“wait lang, sabay na ko sa inyo palabas..uwi na din ako eh!” Kryzl called on.

“Joy, Erlyn! hintayin niyo daw!” I reiterated so they stopped walking away.

“bilis.” Erlyn ordered Kryzl

“eto na nga eh.” Kryzl ran towards Carla, Jhoyce and me to say her goodbye. “oh sige, alis na kami eh..bye sa inyo”

Later on, Carla and Jhoyce went out of our room for a while to go to their lockers. I began sweeping the floor of our classroom (cleaner for the day purpose) after they left. Most of our classmates already went home so it’s much easy to clean now. Walang istorbo! Kaso lang, kawawa naman ako! Bakit kasi ako lang ang naglilinis ngayon?! Tinakasan ako ng mga ka-group ko na cleaners ah! >

“ba't ikaw lang ang nagwawalis dito? nasa’n yung ibang cleaners?” Jake emerged from nowhere.

“andito ka pa pala? ewan ko sa kanila..umuwi agad eh.” I answered.

“ahh..sana hindi ka nalang naglinis, unfair naman sa’yo. Anyway, kinuha ko lang yung bag ko, may training kasi kami ngayon, sayang hindi kita mahahatid..” he sounded with regret.

“yun ba? ayos lang naman ako noh, hindi mo na ko kailangang ihatid” I uttered while sweeping the floor.

“sigurado ka?”

I stopped sweeping and looked at him. “oo naman..”

“okay then.. ” as usual, he smiled at me. Then he left me alone in the room. Meanwhile, dumating na din yung dalawa.

“teka lang, ba’t ikaw lang ang naglilinis?! for sure tinakasan ka ng ibang cleaners ngayon.” Jhoyce said.

“tulungan ka nalang namin! hayaan mo, sisingilin naman tomorrow ng treasurer natin yung mga ka-group mo eh, penalty nila yun sa hindi nila paglinis ngayon..” Carla said as she started to fix the bookshelves and Jhoyce began sweeping too.

“umuwi na ba lahat ng classmates natin?” Jhoyce asked.

“I guess so..” I answered.

“hindi pa yata eh. Eh kaninong bag ‘to?” ??? Carla inquired pointing at the bag on top of the bookshelf.

“teka lang, kay Mike yata yan? ??? I’m not sure pero alam ko sa kanya yan eh” I shrugged

“eh nasa’n siya? ba’t wala siya dito?” Jhoyce asked but I just shrugged once again.

After cleaning, we went home. We’re already riding on a jeep and on our way when I suddenly remembered something.




























“hala! naiwan ko yung Physics notebook ko!”

continuation..



“nako, may homework tayo dun ah!” Jhoyce exclaimed.

“bababa nalang ako, babalikan ko” I decided.

“gusto mo samahan ka namin?” Carla offered.

“wag na, nakakahiya naman sa inyo. Umuwi na kayo, ako nalang” I refused. “para po!”

“sige, ingat ka..” Carla said as I went down the jeep.

“kayo din, bye” then I waved goodbye.

Naglakad lang ako pabalik sa school. Kainis naman oh, ba’t ba kasi nakalimutan ko pa! Nung una nga, ayaw pa ‘kong papasukin ng guard eh! Buti nalang napapayag ko din nung sinabi kong kailangan ko talagang balikan yung notebook ko. While I was walking on the corridor in the direction of our room, I heard someone talking.

As I stood at the classroom’s door, I heard the guy murmured something like, “andyan siya..” though I’m not sure If I heard it right and I don’t have any frigging idea what they’re talking about.

There’s two people, Mike and ???--I don’t know his name but I do know him by his face and as far as I can remember, he’s Mike’s bandmate.

I knocked at the door. “excuse me lang ah?” then I entered.

I went to where my chair is and thankfully, my notebook’s there. I was about to leave when, “narinig mo ba pinag-uusapan namin?” Mike asked but he’s not looking. He’s staring at the floor and he looks so dead serious, I wonder why. ???

“don’t worry, I don’t have any clue on what you guys were talking about. Sorry for the interruption..” I began to walk away.

“Hilary!” the guy called so I turned my head.

“bakit?” I’m puzzled. He knows my name but I don’t even know his.

“will you please come over here? kung pwede lang naman” he smiled welcomely so I went where they’re seated and stood in front of them. “by the way, Paolo nga pala” he extended his hand.

I reached over his hand and smiled at him. “nice meeting you. Your bandmates, right?”

“same here. yeah, we are” he said.

“uhm, so..well..i mean..” I gave him a perplexed look.

He chortled. “have a seat first” he pulled a chair close to me. Mike’s still looking at the floor.

“okay..” then I seated in front of them.

“Mike!” he called his attention. Mike tilted his head but he was just quiet, very not him. Paolo turned to me.“I just want to have your opinion about something.” he squinched at Mike. “pano kung may dapat akong sabihin..” he paused. “kunwari sa’yo..” then he looked at me.

“tapos?”

“would you want to hear it from me?”

“sure..”

He nodded then looked at the floor. I heard him sigh then he looked at me again. “I would tell you about it when the right time comes..” he continued.

This whole thing is an enigma. All I managed was a smile but he seems to be waiting for an answer. I looked at Mike then at Paolo. “but..” I paused. “..the right time will never come, you just..” I pondered for a while. “you just make it happen..” I succesfully extracted that from my mind and I’m planning to make it as my Philosophy #11. Paolo smiled at me which made me more curious.

“see?” Paolo turned to Mike but he just shrugged.

“what’s this all about?” I can’t help but ask.

“let’s say it’s just a situational question..just that” he answered.

“okay? ??? err..actually binalikan ko lang naman ‘tong notebook ko eh so If you don’t mind..uhm..you know..” I made a hand gesture indicating that I need to go.

“oh, I see. okay, thanks anyway” he said. Still, Mike’s silent, not even looking at me. Then I stood up. But before I could make a step, Paolo stood in front of me and impeded my way.

“huh?” He beamed at me and looked at Mike. What’s with the smile? What’s that for?

“ah..sorry” then he stepped aside still looking at the direction of Mike, still with the smile.

“uhm..sige, Pao, bye..” before I could start walking, Paolo obstructed me again.

“hey!” I chortled. “ano ba talaga?”

He chortled along with me, it seems he found it ridiculous too. “sabay na kayo ni Mike..”

“eh hindi pa naman yata kayo tapos mag-usap eh. Okay lang ako” I smiled. “Mike, una na ko..” I turned my head to look at Mike but he has no reaction. “Pao, this time it’s for real, I have to go..”

“okay, take care”

I walked away from the classroom but just a few steps away, napahinto ako.






























“tara na, sumabay ka na sa’kin..”

continuation..



“sasabay ako sa’yo? sabay tayo?? Er..okay, ‘kaw bahala” I responded with a dry tone.

I waited for him but he didn’t move. What did he do? He just looked seriously at me in the eye for--I guess--two minutes. Then I glanced at Paolo and gave him a what’s-wrong-with-him (I'm referring to Mike) look. We both were silent including Mike. Paolo understood the look that I gave him so he stared at Mike for a while but when Pao turned to me again, he only managed to give a shrug. I returned a shrug too. Sige, nag-usapang balikat lang kami! :

“eh ano pang tinitingin-tingin mo dyan?!” I yelled at Mike then Paolo bursted out with laugh.

I turned to Paolo then I felt myself laughing along with him too but I ceased at once. “oh, ba’t ka natawa?” ???

“eh kasi..” he's still laughing. “hindi, wala..nakakagulat ka kasi..ang seryoso ng atmosphere kanina tapos bigla ka nalang nagwala!” he finally stopped hooting.

“weh! sige, ganyan ka! tinatawanan mo ko ah!” I answered back.

“eto naman! ang cute mo nga eh” he’s laugh transformed into a smile then looked away. “kaya ka siguro nila nagustuhan.” he whispered.

“ano? may sinabi ka?” I didn't clearly hear what he said.

He looked at me. “wala..” then he grinned.

“meron eh!”

“wala nga..”

“ang labo naman nito oh!” I said to him then I turned to Mike this time. “ano ba? akala ko ba sabay tayo? hindi ka pa kikilos?!”

At last, he stood up to get his bag and I began walking towards the door. Before he could walk towards me, he stood in front of Paolo and said, “not now.”

“then when? ga’no pa katagal?” Pao inquired then crossed his arms.

“long enough when I'm ready.”

“ano? matagal p--” Pao didn’t continue what he wanted to say but instead he just shook his head when Mike tapped him on his shoulder.

Mike went beside me. “tara..”

I wanted to ask him what they’re talking about but when I saw the reaction on his face, I’ve decided to retreat from asking. He’s too serious. Before we could leave, I turned to Paolo. “ikaw Pao? hindi ka sasabay palabas?” I asked.

“hindi na, mauna nalang kayo” he calmly answered.

“okay.” I shrugged then faced Mike. “oh, labas na!”

“after you..” Mike said and made a hand gesture towards outside the door.

Nauna akong lumabas sa room tapos kasunod ko siya pero bago kami tuluyang makaalis, may pahabol pa si Paolo.

“bye sa inyo. ingat!” he waved goodbye.

On our way down the stairs, napapatingin ako kay Mike, sulyap lang naman para hindi naman niya masyadong mahalata. Nagtataka lang kasi talaga ako. Ano nanaman yung pa-not now, not now na sinabi niya kay Paolo? Pero siya, diretso lang yung tingin kaya hindi naman niya siguro nahalata yung pagsulyap ko.

“diba sinabi ko na sa’yo?” he suddenly spoke.

Ano yung sinasabi niyang sinabi na daw niya?? ???

“ang alin?” I asked while we’re walking down the stairs.

“na..” he faced me.




































“..na tumingin ka sa dinadaanan mo at baka madapa ka! nasa hagdan pa naman tayo! baka mamaya gumulung-gulong ka pa dyan!” > he scolded me.

continuation..


Ayy! Nahalata pala niya na tumitingin ako. Sinigawan pa ko! hmmpf! >

“nagtataka lang kasi ako noh! Tungkol saan yung ‘not now’ na yun?” ??? I inquired.

“i'm sorry but it’s non of your business!” he retorted back then looked away from me.

Aba! ‘tong mokong na ‘to! Siya yung may sabing sabay na kami tapos ginaganito ako?! Sana hindi nalang pala ako pumayag! Hindi pa naman gabi eh at hindi pa mag-gagabi! so kaya ko pa naman umuwi kahit walang kasabay noh!

“fine!” I snapped back. “sigurado ka bang gusto mong sumabay ako sa’yo?! kasi ako, parang ayoko na!”

He’s looking straight ahead. “kung ayaw mong sumabay sa’kin, ayos lang naman..”

“eh yun naman--”





















“..edi ako nalang ang sasabay sa’yo!” he interrupted me.










“duh! eh gano’n din naman kaya yun!” > I retorted.

“that means wala kang choice, sabay tayo.” he responded.

Drat! Asar naman ‘tong kausap eh! Kaya ayun, nanahimik nalang ako! Sa jeep, tahimik lang kami pareho hanggang sa pagbaba namin.

“hatid na kita” he offered.

“eh kung wag nalang kaya? umuwi ka na!” I snorted and glared at him.

“wala kang choice, ihahatid kita.” he said.

“walang choice ka dyan! me--” before I could finish my sentence, he crossed the street since the stoplight is in the red light.

Dito yung subdivision niya, sa’kin yung do’n. Eh bat siya tumawid? Ako lang dapat tatawid ah! So wala ngang choice?! argh! > Sumunod nalang ako sa pagtawid niya.

While we were in the middle of the first half of the street, he made a halt for me to catch him up. When I was beside him, he began walking again then he grabbed my arm.

“ano? bakit ba?” I asked him while we were crossing but he dragged me to his left side.

“wag ka nga dyan!” he scolded me again so I decided not to argue until we finish crossing. After crossing the first half of the street, he shifted to my other side and this time dragged me to his right side.

After we were able to cross the street, I stood in front of him. “teka nga! ano nanaman yun, huh?! sinigawan mo pa ko sa gitna ng kalsada!” I moaned as I crossed my arms but instead of answering, he just passed by me so I followed and walked along with him. I waited for him to answer but he’s just looking straight ahead. “hmmpf! > bahala ka!!” I exclaimed.

Suddenly he stopped walking so I stopped as well to face him. First, he stared at me blankly then the next thing I knew, he was yelling. “hindi naman sa lahat ng oras sumusunod ang mga tao sa traffic lights! pa’no kung may g*go dyan na bigla nalang dumirediretso kahit na tumatawid tayo?! Edi nasagasaan ka kung ikaw yung nasa side ng mga sasakyan! I did that to block you from where the vehicles were! okay?!” then he looked away and began walking. “halika na!”

Nagulat ako sa pagsigaw niya kaya hindi na ko nagsalita pa. :-X pero asar yun ah! Ilang beses na niya kong nasigawan ngayong araw na ‘to! >

Hinatid nga niya ko pero after the shouting incident, tahimik na siya at nakatingin lang ng diretso. Parang may iba talaga kay Mike na hindi ko maintindihan. Sa pagkakaalam ko, hindi naman marunong tumahimik ‘tong kumag na ‘to eh! Pero tahimik siya ngayon.

The very instant we arrived in front of our house, he said, “sige na...” immediately turned his back then left. He left me standing there, thinking...






























“ano bang nangyari sa kanya?!” ??? :-\

Chapter 12
Commencement of Woo



Hiniram ko yung notebook ni Erlyn para makumpleto ko yung lectures ko then pinauna ko na silang kumain. Yung iba kong classmates umalis na din since break time naman pero ako, nagpaiwan muna ‘ko sa classroom para tapusin yung lectures ko sa Logic. May mga ilang classmates din naman akong kasama na nakatambay sa loob ng room.

“where’s Delarante?” a voice spoke.

I turned my head to see who it was. Class adviser namin yun at si Mike ang napagtanungan niya.

“ahh teacher Lex, si Hilary po ba? ayun po oh, yung pangit na nakaupo dun!” sabay turo naman sa’kin.

“weh! narinig ko yun ah!” I said as I stopped writing and stood up to go near them. “ang kapal nito! > akala mo kung sinong gwapo!” I turned to Mike.

“gwapo naman talaga ko eh” he smirked.

“yeah, right!” : I glared at him then turned to T. Lex who just laughed at us. “bakit niyo po ko hinahanap?”

“eto na yung math notebook mo..thanks” T. Lex said as he handed it to me. “Mike, palabasin mo na mga classmates mo, bawal magstay dito ng matagal ‘pag breaktime. Your supposed to be outside” he ordered Mike then he left.

“ba’t nasa kanya notebook mo?” Mike asked me.

“may tiningnan lang siya sa lectures” I answered.

“gano’n? ??? ba’t yung sa’yo pa yung hiniram eh ang pangit naman ng sulat mo!” ;D he taunted.

“hmmpf! ewan ko sa’yo!!” > I snapped back then went back to my seat to bring Erlyn’s notebook and mine before going out since we’re not allowed to stay inside the room.

Ang gulo talaga nitong Mike na ‘to! Minsan okay, minsan nakakainis, minsan tahimik then all of sudden back to normal sa pang-aasar! Nagsho-short circuit ba siya?! :

“classmates! labas na kayo. Bawal mag-stay” Mike instructed us so we all left the room and went outside. While Mike was locking the classroom, I saw Paolo coming along.

“hi Hilary” he greeted.

“ui, hello” I greeted back.

“pupunta kasi ako sa covered court. nakita mo ba si Mike?” he asked.

ahh yung loko-lokong yun?! > nandun oh! “nila-lock pa niya yung room namin eh.” I pointed Mike to him. “sige, mauna na ‘ko ah?”

“sige, thanks”

I went to the garden and seated on a bench. Hindi ko na pinuntahan sina Erlyn sa canteen. Tinuloy ko nalang yung pagsulat ng lectures, may table din naman do’n eh.

“ba’t di ka kumain? saka di mo kasama sina Carla and the rest.” Drew, one of my classmates, emerged and asked.

“oh, ikaw pala” I also noticed Jake with him. “i mean, kayo pala” then they seated at the bench parallel to me.

“tinatapos ko kasi ‘to kaya hindi muna ko sumama sa kanila.”

“si Mike nasa room pa ba?” Drew inquired.

“wala na siya do’n, pinalabas na kaming lahat eh” I put down my ballpen. “pero bago ‘ko pumunta dito, nakita ko si Paolo. Sa court yata sila papunta.” I replied.

“okay, thanks” he smiled at me then faced Jake. “tara na tol, nando’n pala sila eh” he stood up.

“sige, ‘kaw nalang. Dito muna ‘ko.” Jake declined.

“sige, puntahan ko lang sila” Drew said.

“bye” I told him as he left. “bakit di ka sumama sa kanila?” I inquired Jake.

“masgusto kitang kasama.” then he leaned closer to me. I gave him a smile then looked down on my notebook and went back to writing. I noticed he was staring at me so I stopped writing for a while. “bakit?”

“wala lang” he answered then flashed a charming smile. “ang sipag mo naman”

“ikaw, tapos mo na lectures mo dito?” I inquired.

“oo, katatapos ko lang kagabi” he said.

“eh masmasipag ka naman pala sa’kin eh!” I complimented him.

For the next minutes, we were laughing along and chatting. We had a smooth conversation then the bell suddenly rang.

“tara na, time na” he said then I just nodded. We both stood up but my pen fell so I bent down to pick it up. When I got up, I was about to reach the notebooks but he was already holding it.

“ui, ako na magbibitbit nyan” I said to him.

“hindi, ako nalang.” he proffered.

We started to walk to proceed to our line formation. Tuwing after break time kasi nag-la-line-up kami per section, it's part of the school rules. On our way, I noticed something...






























...he’s holding my hand.

continuation..



Binitiwan na rin naman niya ‘ko nung naghiwalay na kami since sa line ng girls ako pumunta, siya naman sa line ng boys. Nang makabalik na kaming lahat sa classroom, nagkaro’n kami ng discussion sa Ekonomics.

“excuse me” we all heard a knock on the door. My teacher stopped talking and went near the person. “may I excuse Hilary Delarante?” it’s my sister.

“Delarante” our teacher called on and proceeded discussing while I stood up and went outside our room. “Jelaine, bakit?”

“may babayaran kasi kami para sa project kaso nakalimutan ko humingi kina mama kanina eh” she said.

“magkano ba?” I asked as I took out my wallet.

“30 pesos”

“buti may extra ako” I took out the money she needed and handed it to her.

“thanks”

“sige” I was about to go inside our room but she called me again.

“teka lang.” I faced her then asked, “di’ba 30 pesos? tama naman yan ah?”

She chortled. “eto naman! hindi yun. sino’ng kasama mo sa garden kanina?” she inquired.

“ahh yun ba? si Jake, classmate ko yun.”

“ahh” she responded pokerfaced. “sige, thanks ulit. bayaran nalang kita later sa bahay” then she walked away.

“okay” I told to myself as I shrugged.

I went inside our classroom after. Maya-maya lang tinawag ako ng teacher.

“what is the law of supply?” the teacher asked me so I stood up.

Hala! Ano nga ba ‘yun? ??? “uh..when the price increases..” I stammered.

“okay. when the price increases, what happens to the supply?”

“it decreases?” ??? I wasn’t sure what the answer is.

“nice try.” he said then I sat down. “can someone help Hilary and tell me the law of supply?” our teacher inquired again. Mike raised his hand. “sige, Mike?”

He stood up and answered, “when the price increases, the supply increases and when the price decreases, the supply decreases also. In other words, directly proportional po ang batas ng suplay” after which, he sat down.

“very good” our teacher commented then he drew graphs on the board. He made that as our homework.


***

At home, I was busy doing school works inside my room. Ang hirap nga eh. Hindi ko na maintindihan masyado yung lesson sa economics. May kung ano-anong graphs na mukhang ewan. While I was still figuring out how those graphs work, my cellphone beeped.


Sender:
aNgeL q!
+63920*******

hi there!ü is there something between you and Jake?


Whoa! bigla siyang nagparamdam after ilang days. Ewan ko nga ba talaga dyan kung sa’n niya nakukuha yung mga informations na nalalaman niya. Si Jake naman ang issue ngayon. Intrigero din pala ‘to eh noh? Nireplayan ko naman at in-explain ko sa kanya na friend ko lang yun tapos bumalik ako sa pag-aanalyze ng graphs. Inikot-ikot ko na yung libro pero hindi ko talaga ma-gets! Haay! Buti pa si Mike naintindihan niya.

“pa’no ba kasi ‘to?!” I yelled and plunged my face on the book.

“ang laki ng problema nito! magpaturo ka kaya kay Papa” Jelaine suddenly spoke. I lifted my head to look at her. She’s standing near my door. “eto na pala yung 30 mo”

“sige, lagay mo lang dyan” I told her so she came in and placed it on my table.

“halika na, dinner na daw” she beckoned me so I already stood up and ate dinner with my family.

Pagkatapos naming kumain, sinunod ko naman yung sinabi ni Jelaine, nagpaturo ako. Pero wala pa rin eh. Nahihirapan pa rin ako kasi ang gulo magturo ni Papa. Feeling ko hindi rin naman niya naintindihan eh.


***


Pagdating ko sa skul, binuksan ng janitor yung room namin kaya umupo na ‘ko ka’gad sa upuan ko. Wala pa ‘kong classmate, ako palang ang nando’n. Nilabas ko naman yung homework ko sa Ekonomiks para pag-aralang mabuti.

“demand saka supply?” I muttered while looking fixedly at my book and notebook. “tapos may supply curve pa?! Kapag tumataas yung price, gano’n din yung supply and vice versa. pero pa’no naging ganito yung kinalabasan ng graph?! ang gulo naman eh!” I got frustrated and closed the book hardly that it made my notebook fell. I knelt down and when my hand reached for the notebook, I saw somebody’s shoes. Napatitig pa nga ‘ko do’n habang papalapit na sa'kin eh...



































“need help?”

continuation..



I lifted my head but he sat in front of me so his face and mine were in the same levels. He intently looked at me in the eyes. Ayan nanaman siya sa eye to eye contact niya eh! Nakakailang naman! :-\

“help for picking up my notebook? no thanks” I said, tossing away my head to avoid his eyes. I picked up the notebook and stood up.

He also stood up. “what I mean is, help for you to understand the lesson..” he paused. “..not help for you to pick it up.” he stated.

“yeah, I know.” I retorted with a dry tone. “by the way, ba’t ang aga mo?!” then I sat down on my chair.

He turned his back and placed his bag on his chair, at my right side. “is there anything wrong for being too early?” he inquired as he took his seat and faced me.

“did I say there’s something wrong? I’m just asking why you’re early!” I asserted. Instead of answering me back, he pulled my notebook from my desk and scanned it. Then in a serious tone, he spoke, “let’s just..” he looked at my eyes.

I tried to look at his too and I saw something. Something..



























..bizarre. :-\



















I just don’t know. There’s an expression in his eyes, it’s peculiar. Then I avoided his gaze.

“..let's just stop arguing. I’ll help you figure out this stupid graphs.” he said.

I attempted to look at him again. He was just staring at me. Later on, he gave me a smile and reached for my ballpen. He pulled his chair closer to me and started explicating things about our lesson. He taught me those stuff.

“gano’n lang yun. kailangan mo lang talagang i-analyze ng mabuti through the help of the law of demand and suppply” he clarified.

“kaya pala hindi ko makuha nung una eh, hindi ko kasi bine-base sa law nun. gets ko na! thank you.” I told him and tried to look at his eyes once more. I observed that his eyes are beautiful, something I’ve not been aware of before. And the expression...
































...the expression’s still there.

Chapter 13
Parting


Are we Mike getting along well? Yes, no, I don’t know! Just don’t get me wrong. So he taught me those uhm..yeah, as what he’ve said..stupid graphs. : But after that good deed, what’s next? May next nga ba? ??? Baka nga wala na eh! Baka bumalik nanaman yun sa pang-aasar!

Jake, Drew, Paolo, and Mike joined our group inside the canteen.

“bili na tayo, gutom na ‘ko eh!” Kryzl protested.

Erlyn and I stood up. “akin na yung bayad mo” Erlyn said.

“oo nga, ibibili ka na namin” I offered.

“ako din, pabili na din..” Joy requested.

“oh sige” I agreed as she gave me her money.

“kayo Jhoyce? gusto niyo magpabili?” Drew asked.

“sige ba! ang bait naman! oh eto” Jhoyce handed her money to him.

“ako din naman!” Carla said.

“okay, ako nalang yung bibili ng sa’yo” Paolo offered and took the money she gave.

“oist, Hilary, Erlyn! ba’t hindi nalang kayo magpabili sa’min?” Mike inquired the two of us while we were standing waiting for them.

“oo nga, kami nalang din yung bibili nung kina Kryzl and Joy” Jake suggested.

“hindi na, okay lang naman” Erlyn smiled at them. I just nodded at what she said then we left. “do’n muna ‘ko sa drinks ah?” Erlyn told me as we separated.

I went to buy our food and was about to take out money when Jake came to my side. “ito po bayad niya” he was going to hand it over to the canteen vendor.

“teka!” I stopped him.

“ako na din yung magbabayad nung kay Joy” he added.

“oh sige yung kay Joy nalang pero wag na yung sa’kin. Ako nalang magbabayad, nakakahiya naman sa’yo” I don’t want him to pay for me.

“ayos lang naman, i-ti-treat kita” he insisted.

“pero--”

“pumayag ka na!” Mike interrupted what I was about to say when he appeared carrying his food. “ililibre ka na nga eh..hayaan mo na si Jake” then he smiled at both of us.

“oo nga naman..” Jake smiled back. Before I could oppose once again, the vendor already had the money.

“ito ba yung kay Joy? ako na magdadala nito do’n” he took the food and went to our table leaving the both of us.

Tinuruan ako, nginitian kaming dalawa, tapos nagbitbit pa! Aba! Anong nakain no’n? Bumabait bigla?! ???

“ako na magdadala nito” Jake took my food for me.

“thank you ah? sige, mauna ka na do’n. Puntahan ko lang si Erlyn sa may drinks” I told him.

“okay” he beamed then walked towards our table where Carla and the rest seems to be happy chatting with each other. When Erlyn and me arrived, I gave back Joy’s money. She looked puzzled. “nilibre tayo ni Jake eh..” I explained.

“Jake, thanks!” Joy told him. “sana nilibre mo na kaming lahat! joke!” ;D

“sige, next time” he flashed a smile at us.

“wow! galante naman!” ;D Kryzl commented then we began eating.

“Pao, pa-overnight naman ng Math notebook, kumpletuhin ko lang lectures ko. Hindi pa kasi tapos ni Jake saka ni Mike yung kanila eh. Diba kahit ibang section ka pareho parin naman lessons natin? Nasa Logarithm na din kayo diba?” Drew suddenly broke in.

“pareho nga pero malas mo, hindi ko din tapos yung sa’kin eh” Pao answered.

“kay hil ka humiram noh! kumpleto na siya do’n” Jhoyce suggested.

“kay Hilary?!” Mike uttered then looked at me.

Nakow! He’ll just criticize me! > alam ko na sasabihin nito! “bakit sa kanya ka pa hihiram eh ang pangit naman ng sulat nyan!” :




































“tama, sa kanya nalang. Maganda pa hand-writing niya!” did I just hear a compliment?! ???